The lawnmower thread

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billy.pilgrim
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The lawnmower thread

Unread post by billy.pilgrim »

http://api.viglink.com/api/click?format ... lawnmowers




Although this could go in the homie thread, it just seemed way too special
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O Really
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Re: The lawnmower thread

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Ridiculous analogy for several reasons. However, as long as the lawnmower can give informed consent, I have no problem with it.

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bannination
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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by bannination »

I wonder if that opens the door for two lawnmowers to marry?

What if they're different brands?

Oh my....

JTA
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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by JTA »

I bet even if I married a lawnmower I'd still be the one always cutting the grass.
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Re: The lawnmower thread

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"Put it in the facepalm category."
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billy.pilgrim
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Re: The lawnmower thread

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are there prizes for being the dumbest republicon. if no prize, what are they competing for
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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by Seth Milner »

billy.pilgrim wrote:are there prizes for being the dumbest republicon.
The presidency?

if no prize, what are they competing for
The presidency?
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Vrede too
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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by Vrede too »

Deere Dear.
bannination wrote:I wonder if that opens the door for two lawnmowers to marry?

What if they're different brands? ...
Pervert.
JTA wrote:I bet even if I married a lawnmower I'd still be the one always cutting the grass.
:lol:
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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by Seth Milner »

Vrede too wrote:Deere Dear.
bannination wrote:I wonder if that opens the door for two lawnmowers to marry?

What if they're different brands? ...
Pervert.

Heaven forbid that one should come from Lowes and the other from Sears! Would that be considered an interracial marriage?
Another question. . .where or how would you check their dingies to determine their sex; or in accordance with today's standards,
would it matter?
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O Really
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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by O Really »

Dingies wouldn't matter in regard to getting married, but they'd probably want to make sure they had compatible dingies. Like, would a rider and a pusher be good together? Self-propelled or manual? Would an electric be willing to put up with the smell of gas? Conservatives just create the most interesting questions, don't they?

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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by Seth Milner »

O Really wrote:Dingies wouldn't matter in regard to getting married, but they'd probably want to make sure they had compatible dingies.
They would have to have something to put in the blank on the license. . . wouldn't they?

Like, would a rider and a pusher be good together? Self-propelled or manual? Would an electric be willing to put up with the smell of gas? Conservatives just create the most interesting questions, don't they?
Who are you calling conservative? :lol: I'm willing to bet that those examples you gave already exist, hetero and homo!
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billy.pilgrim
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Re: The lawnmower thread

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If my lawn mower marries my son's lawnmower

Is it incest
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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by JTA »

billy.pilgrim wrote:If my lawn mower marries my son's lawnmower

Is it incest
If I marry my lawnmower, do I have to turn it on before we consummate the marriage?
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billy.pilgrim
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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by billy.pilgrim »

I appreciate all of the help, but with so many unanswered questions, the only recourse is to take them to the horse's ass. Therefore, I have prepared an email to send rep king, but figured I would check with y'all to see if there are other unanswered questions.

You have 24 hours to submit your questions - below is the email to date



Dear Representative King,

I read with some falling on the floor degree of mirth your assertion (While introducing presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee at a campaign rally, Republican Rep. Steve King claimed that the recent Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage will lead to people marrying lawnmowers) that people may now marry lawnmowers. From you, a well know liar, I tried to take this as just more of your insane bs, but it troubled me enough that you may be onto something that I posted your insanity on a local forum for some thoughtful perspective.

We came up with the following question that we hope you can shed some light on our concerns.

1) Would the lawnmower be required to give informed consent?
2) If I marry my lawnmower, do I have to turn it on before we consummate the marriage?
3) Would the lawnmower retain a survivor’s right to social security and other retirement benefits?
4) Could the lawnmower sign legal documents?
5) Could the lawnmower sue for divorce
6) Where or how would you check their dingies to determine their sex; or in accordance with today's standards?
a. would it matter?
7) Does this open the door for two lawnmowers to marry?
a. What if they are different brands?
b. Is it incest if my lawnmower marries my son’s lawnmower?
8) Are there prizes for being the dumbest republican?


Sincerely,
Trump: “We had the safest border in the history of our country - or at least recorded history. I guess maybe a thousand years ago it was even better.”

Sometime Lefty
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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by Sometime Lefty »

Forget the "thingie" problem suppose a front wheel drive mower married a rear wheel drive mower and gave birth to a mower that had a right front wheel drive and a right rear wheel drive. That mower would cut in circles and would not advance the mower race at all, this must be stopped at all costs! Next thing you know, people would be talking in circles.

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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by JTA »

billy.pilgrim wrote:I appreciate all of the help, but with so many unanswered questions, the only recourse is to take them to the horse's ass. Therefore, I have prepared an email to send rep king, but figured I would check with y'all to see if there are other unanswered questions.

You have 24 hours to submit your questions - below is the email to date



Dear Representative King,

I read with some falling on the floor degree of mirth your assertion (While introducing presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee at a campaign rally, Republican Rep. Steve King claimed that the recent Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage will lead to people marrying lawnmowers) that people may now marry lawnmowers. From you, a well know liar, I tried to take this as just more of your insane bs, but it troubled me enough that you may be onto something that I posted your insanity on a local forum for some thoughtful perspective.

We came up with the following question that we hope you can shed some light on our concerns.

1) Would the lawnmower be required to give informed consent?
2) If I marry my lawnmower, do I have to turn it on before we consummate the marriage?
3) Would the lawnmower retain a survivor’s right to social security and other retirement benefits?
4) Could the lawnmower sign legal documents?
5) Could the lawnmower sue for divorce
6) Where or how would you check their dingies to determine their sex; or in accordance with today's standards?
a. would it matter?
7) Does this open the door for two lawnmowers to marry?
a. What if they are different brands?
b. Is it incest if my lawnmower marries my son’s lawnmower?
8) Are there prizes for being the dumbest republican?


Sincerely,
Into which lawnmower orifice must I insert my member for it to not constitute sodomy, since we know that's a sin?
You aren't doing it wrong if no one knows what you are doing.

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bannination
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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by bannination »

JTA wrote:
Into which lawnmower orifice must I insert my member for it to not constitute sodomy, since we know that's a sin?
Don't worry, the lawnmower will let you know. :lol:

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O Really
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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by O Really »

Would it cause serious issues in the relationship if the lawnmower continued to live in the garage after the wedding? And wouldn't we have to worry about potential affairs with the weedeater?

Seth Milner
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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by Seth Milner »

JTA wrote: Into which lawnmower orifice must I insert my member for it to not constitute sodomy, since we know that's a sin?
Since you are not a lawnmower, why in the world would you stick your member in it? There's only one place you could accomplish such a feat and that would be the muffler, unless of course, you're sporting an Oscar Meyer wiener. I don't think you would even want to consider the consequences!

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Re: The lawnmower thread

Unread post by Seth Milner »

O Really wrote:Would it cause serious issues in the relationship if the lawnmower continued to live in the garage after the wedding? And wouldn't we have to worry about potential affairs with the weedeater?
Do you really want to go there?
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