MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

[O Really]

The same one that killed Kenny killed Mr.B.

who

He fell through a time warp.

[Vrede too]

The same one that killed Kenny killed Mr.B.

banni killed Kenny?

That bastard.

[neoplacebo]

Many people say that it was a hit squad sent by the thick state from Kilkenny, Ireland. And they did.

[Vrede too]

Santa Audi Shames Grinch Sajak, "A Christmas Miracle"

[billy.pilgrim]

Santa Audi Shames Grinch Sajak, "A Christmas Miracle"

I thought Pat was a nicer guy, but I've only seen the WoF show a few times. To me, Pat is still just a fairly funny weatherman.

[neoplacebo]

I think of him as a plastic husk who will soon be a computer generated younger version of himself who will never age and will be elected president and bring his bird leg sidekick with him. She will soon break both legs and be confined to a cage. Yeah, Merry Christmas.

[O Really]

Merry Christmas, misfits.

[neoplacebo]

What you can't see in that is the doctor coming to the horrid realization that all the patients' comments describe him. He goes quietly crazy.

[Ulysses]

Merry Christmas, misfits.

That's pretty funny.

Thanks for sharing.

[GoCubsGo]

Love and sanity to us all:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nDLumk_rQ ... e=youtu.be

[O Really]

So we went out today to look for all the people waging war on Christmas, or trying to cancel Christmas, or whatever. We went down along the beach, and then took a walk by the Flower Fields and Legoland, then went back through Carlsbad and Oceanside. Looked everywhere, but all we saw was people walking along saying "Merry Christmas" a "Santa family" all in costume riding around in their top down Model T, and a street cruise with nicely decorated customs and hot rods. Dogs in red coats and fake reindeer antlers, Christmas trees in storefronts, decorated houses and yards, some with "Griswold" worthy lights. Christmas on the street lights, Christmas "specials" in restaurants. Never did find anybody trying to cancel Christmas. No Scrooges here.
Hope everybody had a good one!

[Vrede too]

This looks good:

Santa Jaws

Trying to survive the family Christmas, Cody makes a wish to be alone, which ends up backfiring when a shark manifests and kills his entire family.

Merry Sharkmas!

[Vrede too]

A bank accidentally paid thousands of people a total of $175 million on Christmas Day, due to a technical glitch

It's SANTAnder Bank.

Bad elves.

[neoplacebo]

Somebody will get a promotion out of this.

[GoCubsGo]

Deep thoughts during a New Year's snowstorm....#8 is particularly relevant.

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.

3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.

5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.

9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"

11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

13. I run like the winded.

14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.

15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"

16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."

19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.

20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.

21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.

[Ulysses]

Same list plus one, from:

https://www.irv2.com/forums/f34/another ... ost6016854

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
22. The fact that my entire body cracks like a glowstick whenever I move yet refuses to actually glow is very disappointing.

Like a V2 rocket.

(Also seen same list going back to Jan 2021...)

[neoplacebo]

I am taken with number 10, and have decided to adopt it immediately.

[Ulysses]

Plagiarism is bad.

[O Really]

Merry Christmas, all.
Some apparently think we are "allowed" to say that only because of Trump. (sigh)

Enjoy the day!

[GoCubsGo]

Merry Christmas, all.
Some apparently think we are "allowed" to say that only because of Trump. (sigh)

Enjoy the day!

And a Happy Hanukklaus to us alls!