A Florida Man...

[Vrede too]

Where do they come up with this shit?

Partially from our team:

Desperate Democrats 'Begging Michelle to Run in 2024': Party Insiders 'Secretly Testing Support' for Former First Lady

The best conspiracy theories have an element of truth.

Truths:
Joe is vulnerable;
Joe is ancient;
Michelle would be a strong candidate;
Many Dems and others would like her to run.

Fakes:
She has reversed her avowed refusal to run;
Her nomination is already a fait accompli.

It's weird.
She has shown zero interest, as a matter of fact after her eight years she's shown some disdain.

Flat out rejection, publicly, privately and often.

[Vrede too]

Florida Pastor Accused of Orchestrating the Theft of Millions in Home Depot Merchandise

PTL

the rock church and recovery program

Funny that none of the dramatic landscape pics exist in Florida, not even close.

[GoCubsGo]

Florida Pastor Accused of Orchestrating the Theft of Millions in Home Depot Merchandise

PTL

the rock church and recovery program

Funny that none of the dramatic landscape pics exist in Florida, not even close.

That's a shit ton of power tools.

[Vrede too]

That's a shit ton of power tools.

If each one cost, say $50, that would be 60,000 of them.

[GoCubsGo]

That's a shit ton of power tools.

If each one cost, say $50, that would be 60,000 of them.

I was thinking $100, but yeah.

[billy.pilgrim]

Woman in Ft.Walton jumps off of the pier.

https://youtube.com/shorts/giZTKz7q1es?feature=shared

[Vrede too]

Woman in Ft.Walton jumps off of the pier.

https://youtube.com/shorts/giZTKz7q1es

Shark be like, "That faceplanting Florida Woman is cra-cra, I'm outta here."

... On their Facebook page, the sheriff's office wrote, "Gee…a dry-erase board never lied to us before—should we believe it?"

I like how the windshield wipers come on at 1:30.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCMTYXwvA94

Florida Man Goes Full Send, Launches Dodge Challenger Into Canal
The most impressive part might be just how long the Challenger stayed afloat.

... if you happen to be visiting Florida anytime soon, be careful. There are some crazy Florida drivers out there.

Great minds . . .

I don’t think the wipers are doing a lot of good.

HEY. They’re doing their best.

If you look closely, there was a pelican on the grassy knoll.

Thank Florida for existing, I was worried nothing could cheer me up today. But here comes the crazy-car leaping to the rescue.

[Vrede too]

Florida Man has been busy:

31-year-old (Gainesville) Florida man arrested over Instagram threat to 'shoot up' middle school, police say

(Lady Lake) Florida man pulls switchblade on moms in school carpool line during argument with his wife, police say

(St. Johns County) Florida deputy arrested, fired after videos of kids engaging in sexual acts found on his Snapchat: officials
1312

Florida Navy chief drunkenly punches girlfriend 3 times at his own (Jacksonville) promotion dinner, officers say
Un-promotion pending?

(Palm Beach County) Florida teen's detailed plans to commit several mass killings unearthed in routine traffic stop, deputies say
"I guess I just don't like religion." Well, that's understandable.

St. Johns County again:
3 Florida high school students arrested for crafting 'lethal hit list' plan in group chat, deputies say


Texas woman gets in on the fun, Escambia and Sumter Counties:
Texas woman arrested for 2 DUIs in 2 consecutive days during drive through Florida, troopers say

[Vrede too]

...

Maybe there's a senior category . . .

First ever Florida Man games will feature beer belly wrestling and 'evading arrest' obstacle course

It ain’t the Olympics, but a group of Floridians plan to host competitions themed according to the collective antics of the beer-loving, gator-possessing, rap-sheet heavy, mullet-wearing social media phenomenon known as “Florida Man.”

Organizers of the “Florida Man Games” describe the competition as “the most insane athletic showdown on Earth.” The games will poke fun at Florida’s reputation for producing strange news stories involving guns, drugs, booze and reptiles — or some combination of the four.

Among the contests planned for next February in St. Augustine, Florida, according to organizers, are the Evading Arrest Obstacle Course in which contestants jump over fences and through yards while being chased by real police officers; the Category 5 Cash Grab in which participants try to grab as much money in a wind-blowing booth; and the self-explanatory beer-belly wrestling....

[Vrede too]

Florida Man pirates a pirate:

Stolen booty: Florida man plunders huge Captain Morgan statue from liquor store

Aye matey, something that light was just begging to get captured. It'll be a unique decoration in someone's den

[billy.pilgrim]

They’re doing it again. This will be the third time that I’m aware of where Florida pays brand new start up insurance companies to take over existing policies. On top of the already collected premiums, the state tosses in a $3,000 bonus.
Works great; local pols and county club buddies get rich, pay out a few claims grudgingly, got richer, prepared for the next big disaster, did I mention that they kept getting rich, well, they did and then like clockwork the disaster happens. As these fly-away companies scramble to put into place their disaster plans, they continue to answer phones and start the claim process while the company’s money mysteriously disappears and the company declares bankruptcy and the state of Florida takes responsibility to pay the claims.
Nothing in the article indicates that this is being played out as it has in the past, but how else does state senator joe gruters guarantee a 165% return?


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-homeow ... rs-1839091


“However, some see the situation as an investment opportunity. One of those is Republican state Senator Joe Gruters, the Miami Herald reported, who pitched an idea for a new homeowners insurance company to colleagues with a promise of a 165 percent return on investments over the next five years.“

[GoCubsGo]

They’re doing it again. This will be the third time that I’m aware of where Florida pays brand new start up insurance companies to take over existing policies. On top of the already collected premiums, the state tosses in a $3,000 bonus.
Works great; local pols and county club buddies get rich, pay out a few claims grudgingly, got richer, prepared for the next big disaster, did I mention that they kept getting rich, well, they did and then like clockwork the disaster happens. As these fly-away companies scramble to put into place their disaster plans, they continue to answer phones and start the claim process while the company’s money mysteriously disappears and the company declares bankruptcy and the state of Florida takes responsibility to pay the claims.
Nothing in the article indicates that this is being played out as it has in the past, but how else does state senator joe gruters guarantee a 165% return?


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-homeow ... rs-1839091


“However, some see the situation as an investment opportunity. One of those is Republican state Senator Joe Gruters, the Miami Herald reported, who pitched an idea for a new homeowners insurance company to colleagues with a promise of a 165 percent return on investments over the next five years.“

Good grift.

[Vrede too]

...

O Really revealed, literally, during visit to his old home:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70zZ1zwXHSc

[Vrede too]

[O Really]

That's funny!

Maybe we should ask them how they knew "oz" was ounces

[billy.pilgrim]

Why is this in the Florida man thread? He clearly states that he lives in another state.

[Vrede too]

Why is this in the Florida man thread? He clearly states that he lives in another state.

He "lived in Florida" when he first got confused and I renamed the thread, anyhow.

[billy.pilgrim]

Why is this in the Florida man thread? He clearly states that he lives in another state.

He "lived in Florida" when he first got confused and I renamed the thread, anyhow.

Read again carefully. He says that he didn’t become confused until after he moved away from Florida.

[Vrede too]

Why is this in the Florida man thread? He clearly states that he lives in another state.

He "lived in Florida" when he first got confused and I renamed the thread, anyhow.

Read again carefully. He says that he didn’t become confused until after he moved away from Florida.

Read again carefully, Florida Man. He was confused in Florida but didn't know it until after he moved away from Florida. Otherwise, you're saying that they really were "Florida ounces" while he lived there. Besides, I renamed the thread.

[billy.pilgrim]

Why is this in the Florida man thread? He clearly states that he lives in another state.

He "lived in Florida" when he first got confused and I renamed the thread, anyhow.

Read again carefully. He says that he didn’t become confused until after he moved away from Florida.

Read again carefully, Florida Man. He was confused in Florida but didn't know it until after he moved away from Florida. Otherwise, you're saying that they really were "Florida ounces" while he lived there. Besides, I renamed the thread.

He lived happily believing that there were Florida ounces while in Florida and only became confuted after becoming the resident of another state.
We flurididians are happily secure in our beliefs.