Dumb headlines thread

[billy.pilgrim]

"Man shot in gunfight by jail out of hospital"

If the jail had been a better shot I guess the man would be dead.

It would've been but it just got out of the hospital.

[O Really]

You have to wonder what these writers' first language was. Apparently not English.

Which reminds me - how does anyone ever learn to say "he had went..."

And the only way anybody could think vehicle was pronounced vee-hickle is if they had never heard it pronounced but only seen the word in print.

Maybe the dark state snuck vaccines to prevent education into the baby shots.

[Vrede too]

"Man shot in gunfight by jail out of hospital"

If the jail had been a better shot I guess the man would be dead.

It would've been but it just got out of the hospital.

[neoplacebo]

You have to wonder what these writers' first language was. Apparently not English.

Which reminds me - how does anyone ever learn to say "he had went..."

And the only way anybody could think vehicle was pronounced vee-hickle is if they had never heard it pronounced but only seen the word in print.

Maybe the dark state snuck vaccines to prevent education into the baby shots.

Hell, I've encountered people just like that back in the late sixties and early seventies when I was doing my initial exploratory work...along with others. But it generally went like "he up and went" or even "he gone and went" or "he done gone and went". I think it was mostly due to a cornbread and hard coder regimen but we never hung around long enough to figure it out. When they start asking if you're a boy or a gurl is when you know you're in trouble. This happened once; it was not pleasant.

[Vrede too]

Hell, I've encountered people just like that back in the late sixties and early seventies when I was doing my initial exploratory work...along with others. But it generally went like "he up and went" or even "he gone and went" or "he done gone and went". I think it was mostly due to a cornbread and hard coder regimen but we never hung around long enough to figure it out. When they start asking if you're a boy or a gurl is when you know you're in trouble. This happened once; it was not pleasant.

"cornbread and hard coder"? Like Whack9?

[neoplacebo]

Hell, I've encountered people just like that back in the late sixties and early seventies when I was doing my initial exploratory work...along with others. But it generally went like "he up and went" or even "he gone and went" or "he done gone and went". I think it was mostly due to a cornbread and hard coder regimen but we never hung around long enough to figure it out. When they start asking if you're a boy or a gurl is when you know you're in trouble. This happened once; it was not pleasant.

"cornbread and hard coder"? Like Whack9?

I don't remember whack9 talking about cornbread. Or buttermilk for that matter. I almost bought cornbread the other day but it was more than five dollars....I thought I was being baited, possibly watched, and didn't buy it. I might get that cornbread mix and make some but I doubt it. That shit might be some sort of toxic waste sulfate something or other. I like that sweet cornbread with real butter.

[billy.pilgrim]

Hell, I've encountered people just like that back in the late sixties and early seventies when I was doing my initial exploratory work...along with others. But it generally went like "he up and went" or even "he gone and went" or "he done gone and went". I think it was mostly due to a cornbread and hard coder regimen but we never hung around long enough to figure it out. When they start asking if you're a boy or a gurl is when you know you're in trouble. This happened once; it was not pleasant.

"cornbread and hard coder"? Like Whack9?

I don't remember whack9 talking about cornbread. Or buttermilk for that matter. I almost bought cornbread the other day but it was more than five dollars....I thought I was being baited, possibly watched, and didn't buy it. I might get that cornbread mix and make some but I doubt it. That shit might be some sort of toxic waste sulfate something or other. I like that sweet cornbread with real butter.

That "mix" crap is 75% flour. Not good.

[Vrede too]

"cornbread and hard coder"? Like Whack9?

I don't remember whack9 talking about cornbread. Or buttermilk for that matter. I almost bought cornbread the other day but it was more than five dollars....I thought I was being baited, possibly watched, and didn't buy it. I might get that cornbread mix and make some but I doubt it. That shit might be some sort of toxic waste sulfate something or other. I like that sweet cornbread with real butter.

billy.pilgrim has a recipe.


Plane diverted from Atlanta to Seattle after fake bomb threat

No plane has been "diverted from Atlanta to Seattle", ever. In reality:

An Alaska Airlines flight from Atlanta to Seattle was diverted to Spokane International Airport after a passenger wrote a threat that he had a bomb on board.

[O Really]

. I might get that cornbread mix and make some but I doubt it. That shit might be some sort of toxic waste sulfate something or other. I like that sweet cornbread with real butter.

Get some Quaker Corn Meal (yellow). Follow a recipe on the back, or something like this one: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/17891 ... cornbread/

It's about the same effort to make from scratch as to use a mix and it's generally much better, although the Jiffy brand mix isn't bad.

[O Really]

No plane has been "diverted from Atlanta to Seattle", ever. In reality:

An Alaska Airlines flight from Atlanta to Seattle was diverted to Spokane International Airport after a passenger wrote a threat that he had a bomb on board.

"Take me to Spokane" no hijacker has said ever.

[billy.pilgrim]

"cornbread and hard coder"? Like Whack9?

I don't remember whack9 talking about cornbread. Or buttermilk for that matter. I almost bought cornbread the other day but it was more than five dollars....I thought I was being baited, possibly watched, and didn't buy it. I might get that cornbread mix and make some but I doubt it. That shit might be some sort of toxic waste sulfate something or other. I like that sweet cornbread with real butter.

billy.pilgrim has a recipe.


Plane diverted from Atlanta to Seattle after fake bomb threat

No plane has been "diverted from Atlanta to Seattle", ever. In reality:

An Alaska Airlines flight from Atlanta to Seattle was diverted to Spokane International Airport after a passenger wrote a threat that he had a bomb on board.

O Really disparaged my kitchen sink recipe. To my sensibilities, it can't be beat, but if you are looking for real cornbread, buy plain cornmeal, baking powder, sugar, oil or lard, salt and milk or buttermilk.
If it's called mix, it's 3/4s flour. How can flourbread be called cornbread?

[O Really]

I don't recall disparaging your recipe, but if I did I'm sure it was in good humour.

[neoplacebo]

. I might get that cornbread mix and make some but I doubt it. That shit might be some sort of toxic waste sulfate something or other. I like that sweet cornbread with real butter.

Get some Quaker Corn Meal (yellow). Follow a recipe on the back, or something like this one: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/17891 ... cornbread/

It's about the same effort to make from scratch as to use a mix and it's generally much better, although the Jiffy brand mix isn't bad.

Thanks. I'll try it out.

[neoplacebo]

No plane has been "diverted from Atlanta to Seattle", ever. In reality:

An Alaska Airlines flight from Atlanta to Seattle was diverted to Spokane International Airport after a passenger wrote a threat that he had a bomb on board.

"Take me to Spokane" no hijacker has said ever.

I bet you could disguise a bomb as cornbread.....

[Vrede too]

Barack Obama, Michelle Obama Score Separate Emmy Nominations. But Will They Compete Head To Head?

Paragraph 3:

... Helping to keep the peace in the Obama household, the former president and first lady won’t be going head to head for Emmys.

Given the categories they were nominated in there never was a chance they would "Compete Head To Head". Clickbait.

[Vrede too]

Cherokee County (GA)
Drug traffickers sentenced for distributing nearly 2 kilos of meth during I-75 traffic stop

Multi-taskers, but it's probably better to wait until the cops are done ticketing.

[Vrede too]

Missing 3-year-old Greene County boy found playing in his backyard

That would be funny if it were true, and that's the reason I clicked. In reality, he left his backyard, was gone for hours, traveled a long distance, and was found safe and sound in a farm field, not anyone's "backyard" . Is WHIO-TV (Dayton, Ohio) using cut rate AI to write its headlines?

[Vrede too]

SWAT detains Pensacola man after allegedly shooting woman in the face

Baaad SWAT.

[O Really]

"'Do not release the dog with his hands up!': Black man mauled by police canine following Ohio pursuit"

Clumsy writing? Maybe not. Apparently that's a direct quote from one of the cops to the dog guy.

Here's the sloppy writing: "...attempted to stop 23-year-old Jadarrius Rose who was driving a semi-tractor trailer because it "was missing a left rear mud flap," according to an incident report."

I guess he wouldn't have driven it if it hadn't been missing the mud flap, eh?

https://www.yahoo.com/news/not-release- ... 59398.html

[O Really]

Not so much a "dumb" headline as an outrageous click-bait, but:

"Try Not To Choke When You See Adam Schiff's Lover
Adam Schiff: You Will Never Guess Who he Is In A Relationship With"

Spoiler:

Eve Schiff, his wife of over 25 years