Dumb headlines thread

[GoCubsGo]

Not so much a "dumb" headline as an outrageous click-bait, but:

"Try Not To Choke When You See Adam Schiff's Lover
Adam Schiff: You Will Never Guess Who he Is In A Relationship With"

Spoiler:

Eve Schiff, his wife of over 25 years

I was gonna guess his dog.

[O Really]

Everybody's gonna know the answer to this one:


Take A look At Who Guy Fieri Is Married To Today
Ever wondered who Guy Fieri's currently involved with? think no more we have the answer for you all

Spoiler:

His only wife, Lori, to whom he's been married since 1995

[Vrede too]

Everybody's gonna know the answer to this one:

Take A look At Who Guy Fieri Is Married To Today
Ever wondered who Guy Fieri's currently involved with? think no more we have the answer for you all

Spoiler:

His only wife, Lori, to whom he's been married since 1995

Another clickbait headline :

Massive sea creature with over 3,000 teeth spotted near Texas coast, video shows

Spoiler:

...



... Though they are the largest of the sharks — and the largest of all fish — whale sharks are gentle giants, experts say. They’re filter feeders and use their massive mouths to suck in little prey such as plankton or schooling fish, according to Oceana.org....

Despite their intimidating size and about 3,000 tiny teeth, whale sharks are considered “harmless to humans,” according to the Florida Museum of Natural History....

Oooo, "Massive sea creature with over 3,000 teeth".

[O Really]

"The 9 Best Sciatica Stretches To Relieve Nerve Pain From Physical Therapists"

Yeah, them damn physical therapists can certainly deliver the nerve pain.

[Vrede too]

"The 9 Best Sciatica Stretches To Relieve Nerve Pain From Physical Therapists"

Yeah, them damn physical therapists can certainly deliver the nerve pain.

Stretching sciatica is also quite dangerous.

[Vrede too]

Donald Trump’s Ex-Friend Claims He’s ‘Scared to Death’ of Going Face To Face With This Political Rival

Who is "Scared", the ex-friend?

... Trump’s former friend Joe Scarborough recently alleged that he’s been avoiding saying whether or not he’s showing up to the primary debate, all because of one political rival. Scarborough alleges that Trump is “scared to death” of his political rival Chris Christie....

Ah. Also, Scarborough's political chops extend far beyond having been friendly with Dolt .45 many years ago. It's a dumb way to describe him.

[O Really]

Poorly worded headline, but I'd agree Trump would be afraid of Christie. Christie doesn't expect to get elected, may not care if he doesn't, isn't the least bit afraid or intimidated by Trump and is quick of wit and sharp tongue.

[O Really]

More bad click-bait:

"Taylor Swift's Ridiculous Demands On Tour
Crew Members Were Stunned To See Her Request"

Spoiler:

Taylor Swift needs her Starbucks, and she needs it in a very specific way, namely a Grande Iced Caramel Latte with two Sweet ‘n Lows and a Grande Iced Americano with two Sweet ‘n Lows and soy milk. She orders these two drinks before every performance.

Stunning, shocking, and ridiculous indeed.

[GoCubsGo]

More bad click-bait:

"Taylor Swift's Ridiculous Demands On Tour
Crew Members Were Stunned To See Her Request"

Spoiler:

Taylor Swift needs her Starbucks, and she needs it in a very specific way, namely a Grande Iced Caramel Latte with two Sweet ‘n Lows and a Grande Iced Americano with two Sweet ‘n Lows and soy milk. She orders these two drinks before every performance.

Stunning, shocking, and ridiculous indeed.

My God, almost as bad as all green M&M's.

[O Really]

I don't know about everybody, but Van Halen had a good reason for demanding there be no brown M&M's. They wanted to make sure the local venue management actually read their contract rider and were going to follow it.

In his autobiography, Van Halen vocalist David Lee Roth discusses just how intricate the band’s concerts really were, “Van Halen was the first to take 850 par lamp lights – huge lights – around the country. At the time, it was the biggest production ever. We’d pull up with nine eighteen-wheeler trucks, full of gear, where the standard was three trucks, max. And there were many, many technical errors – whether it was the girders couldn’t support the weight, or the flooring would sink in, or the doors weren’t big enough to move the gear through.”

Roth also revealed that if the band noticed a brown M&M in one of the bowls, they would know that the venue was not paying attention to their hefty concert rider. Roth stated, “When I would walk backstage, if I saw a brown M&M in that bowl, well, line-check the entire production. Guaranteed you’re going to arrive at a technical error. They didn’t read the contract. Guaranteed you’d run into a problem. Sometimes it would threaten to just destroy the whole show. Something like, literally, life-threatening.”

[Vrede too]

Dumb content rather than dumb headline:
https://www.yahoo.com/news/iranian-4-ir ... 24320.html

An Iraqi court sentenced an Iranian and four Iraqis to life imprisonment on Thursday for killing a U.S. citizen in Baghdad last year, officials said.

Iraq's interior ministry announced the convictions and sentences of the unmanned suspects in a statement, saying four others accused of being involved in the November murder of Stephen Edward Troell were being pursued with the aim of bringing them to justice....

"unmanned suspects" - Damn Iraqi justice is harsh!

[Vrede too]

What the Yahoo headline says:
NASA makes jaw-dropping announcement about new alien evidence

What TheStreet's headline actually says:
NASA makes jaw-dropping announcement about new alien evidence
The space agency has "a lot more to learn" when it comes to UFOs and aliens.

What the content of the same article says:

... "We're in a world of discovery. And we, NASA, have taken for the first time concrete action to seriously look into UAP (unidentified anomalous phenomena)," NASA Administrator Bill Nelson said. "The top takeaway from the study is that there is a lot more to learn."

"The team did not find any evidence that UAP have an extra-terrestrial origin," he added. "But we don't know what these UAP are." ...

In other words, NASA has NO "alien evidence", "jaw-dropping" or otherwise.


What the Orlando Sentinel headline says:
NASA report finds no evidence of alien life linked to UFOs, aka UAPs, but wants more data
Shame on you, Yahoo and TheStreet.

[Vrede too]

Senator Dianne Feinstein’s Cause Of Death Revealed

Spoiler:

At 90, the Senator's death is considered "natural causes."

I'm shocked . . . that the reporter and headline editor are both idiots.

[Vrede too]

71-year-old man shot in head after being picked up at Atlanta airport by passenger in back seat

Leaving aside the gunplay it's just not safe to get picked up by someone in the back seat. Better stick with people in the driver's seat.

[Vrede too]

71-year-old man shot in head after being picked up at Atlanta airport by passenger in back seat

Leaving aside the gunplay it's just not safe to get picked up by someone in the back seat. Better stick with people in the driver's seat.

The headline has been changed without admission of the change. It's now:

71-year-old shot in head from back seat after being picked up at Atlanta airport, police say

Guess FOX 5 Atlanta subscribes to BRD, who knew?

[O Really]

Not "dumb" in the usual way, but dangerously misleading:

"Coffee drinking connected to Parkinson's, heart disease and cancer, study finds"

No, it didn't, and the article isn't even mostly about coffee at all.

Trichloroethylene (TCE), a chemical commonly used for decaffeinating coffee, degreasing metal, and dry cleaning clothes, is believed to be contributing to the rise of Parkinson's disease, the world's fastest-growing brain condition.

And...I think that's the last reference to coffee in the article.

https://www.thebrighterside.news/post/c ... GHTER+SIDE

[Vrede too]

I saw this headline and was like :

West Virginia school system mandates religious training following revival assembly lawsuit

In fact,

A West Virginia school district has passed a policy mandating annual religious freedom training as part of a lawsuit settlement after an evangelical preacher held a revival assembly during the school day in 2022 that some students were required to attend....

"religious freedom training" is entirely different. It includes the freedom to not be xtian or to not be religious at all. Rather than creating a madrassa as the headline suggests, the christofascists got fish slapped big time and they will be reminded of it every year, forever.

[Vrede too]

Not a headline, but:

Correction, Oct. 5, 2022 at 7:01 p.m.: A previous version of this story incorrectly spelled the name of the woman who was wounded in the shooting. Her name is Brenda Berenice Casias Carrillo, not Brenda Berenice Cacias Carrillo.

This has been there for over 13 months.

As for the underlying story, an update:

CNN breaks down scene where migrants were allegedly shot by Texas brothers

No indictment, no trials, covered up by lying LEOs.

[O Really]

"10 Places To Retire That Are Just Like Arizona but Way Cheaper"

Why is that a dumb headline, you ask.

Spoiler:

It includes places like Springfield MO, Port St. Lucie FL, and Chattanooga TN As if.

https://www.yahoo.com/finance/news/10-p ... 49470.html"

[billy.pilgrim]

"10 Places To Retire That Are Just Like Arizona but Way Cheaper"

Why is that a dumb headline, you ask.

Spoiler:

It includes places like Springfield MO, Port St. Lucie FL, and Chattanooga TN As if.

https://www.yahoo.com/finance/news/10-p ... 49470.html"

A tiny little bit of credit to the author, thanks in part to out chain restaurant/retail culture there are parts of Atlanta, Houston, Springfield and Chattanooga that look almost identical.
If you consider the lifestyle these retirees are looking for, then even more cities become “just like” almost every other city. But none are like Sedona. Small cities have a better chance of retaining their individuality.