you just can't fix stupid

[neoplacebo]

Maybe they were taking turns breast feeding it. It's hard to say in a situation like this. Maybe the baby was a stranger. It WAS Alabama.

[Vrede too]

Assuming that the Haitian authorities have captured or killed all of the assassins (but not their sponsors), how do you not have an exit strategy from a poor country with a developing world border that's surrounded on 3 sides by water?!!!

[neoplacebo]

Assuming that the Haitian authorities have captured or killed all of the assassins (but not their sponsors), how do you not have an exit strategy from a poor country with a developing world border that's surrounded on 3 sides by water?!!!

I would have had at least two boats ready and waiting. Lots more places to secrete a boat than places for helicopters to land. Dilettantes.

[Vrede too]

I would have had at least two boats ready and waiting. Lots more places to secrete a boat than places for helicopters to land. Dilettantes.

I would have also had false Dominican ID and a map to a border path just 30 miles away. I can understand the Americans, but you would think that Colombians would be better at this sort of thing.

[neoplacebo]

I would have had at least two boats ready and waiting. Lots more places to secrete a boat than places for helicopters to land. Dilettantes.

I would have also had false Dominican ID and a map to a border path just 30 miles away. I can understand the Americans, but you would think that Colombians would be better at this sort of thing.

Yeah, no doubt it would have been better to shove off and meet up with a Colombian cocaine submarine. I feel sure it would have been better than being in a Haitian prison. They'll probably be beaten beyond recognition with gnarly native sticks and then subjected to voodoo curses that will result in hideous disfigurement as well as being struck dumb and blind. Most of them are reciting the "never get off the boat" mantra about now.

[Vrede too]

Yeah, no doubt it would have been better to shove off and meet up with a Colombian cocaine submarine. I feel sure it would have been better than being in a Haitian prison. They'll probably be beaten beyond recognition with gnarly native sticks and then subjected to voodoo curses that will result in hideous disfigurement as well as being struck dumb and blind. Most of them are reciting the "never get off the boat" mantra about now.

Geez, even the supposed boss stayed in the country.

Haitian doctor with Florida connections arrested as a leader in Moïse assassination plot

Most inept coup ever! Maybe they're not all idiots:

... Meanwhile, five Colombian former soldiers suspected of having been involved in the attack on the president’s home remain at large, while 18 others are now in custody....

Otoh, could be they just haven't left the brothel yet and they're clueless about what's been happening.

[neoplacebo]

Yeah, no doubt it would have been better to shove off and meet up with a Colombian cocaine submarine. I feel sure it would have been better than being in a Haitian prison. They'll probably be beaten beyond recognition with gnarly native sticks and then subjected to voodoo curses that will result in hideous disfigurement as well as being struck dumb and blind. Most of them are reciting the "never get off the boat" mantra about now.

Geez, even the supposed boss stayed in the country.

Haitian doctor with Florida connections arrested as a leader in Moïse assassination plot

Most inept coup ever! Maybe they're not all idiots:

... Meanwhile, five Colombian former soldiers suspected of having been involved in the attack on the president’s home remain at large, while 18 others are now in custody....

Otoh, could be they just haven't left the brothel yet and they're clueless about what's been happening.

The whole thing is like the second coming of the Bay of Pigs show but with an additional dose of incompetence. I expect those 5 Colombians to be the only survivors of this low rent production. So, "never get out of the boat" would, indeed, have been the best policy.

[Vrede too]

The whole thing is like the second coming of the Bay of Pigs show but with an additional dose of incompetence. I expect those 5 Colombians to be the only survivors of this low rent production. So, "never get out of the boat" would, indeed, have been the best policy.

They just don't make criminals like they used to.

He Hired 2 Men to Kidnap His Wife. They Ended Up Drowning.

... The kidnappers had been hired by Handley’s estranged husband, Lawrence Michael Handley, who was planning to have Schanda Handley driven to his camp near Woodville, Mississippi, from her home in Lafayette, Louisiana, prosecutors said. What he planned to do after that was not clear, authorities said.

But as the men drove east on Interstate 10 on Aug. 6, 2017, with Schanda Handley handcuffed in the back, sheriff’s deputies noticed the van was swerving and tried to stop it, prosecutors said.

The men, Sylvester Bracey and Arsenio Haynes, drove off the interstate, turned down a dead-end gravel road, and were penned in by the police, prosecutors said. Both men tried to escape by swimming through a canal, prosecutors said. They drowned.

Opps.

On Monday, nearly four years later, Lawrence Michael Handley, 53, pleaded guilty to two counts of second-degree kidnapping and one count of attempted second-degree kidnapping, prosecutors said. He faces 15 to 35 years in prison. A sentencing date has not been set....

Detective Jared Istre of the Lafayette Police Department, who investigated the case, found video of Lawrence Michael Handley planning the kidnapping as well as checklists that he had made and evidence showing that he rented the van and bought the handcuffs used by the two kidnappers, prosecutors said....

They made video???!!!

[Vrede too]

Worst assassins ever?

‘Who is it?’ Woman answering door shot 5 times in hail of 75 bullets, Illinois cops say

A 58-year-old Illinois woman heard a knock at the door after midnight Monday, and when she went to answer it, she was greeted by a hail of bullets.

‘Who is it?’ the homeowner asked, approaching the door. Right after she called out to the mystery visitor, her front door exploded with gunfire, according to the Champaign Police Department.

Suspects unloaded at least 75 rounds during the ambush. Nearby houses and vehicles were also struck by gunfire, police said.

They even missed the house?

The victim was hit five times but survived, police said.

15 to 1 hit ratio.

She was taken to an area hospital and is in stable condition.

No vital organs struck.

As police made their way to the home, the suspects were already making their escape. A black Dodge Durango, later found to be stolen, crashed nearby, police said.

Sounds like they crashed despite not being chased. Idiots.

At the crash, police found a gun that may have been recently fired, an empty magazine, a spent shell casing and live ammo.

The suspects were gone by the time police arrived at the crash, and investigators are searching for them....

I also have to wonder whether a 58-year-old woman was really their intended target.

[Vrede too]

viewtopic.php?p=138930#p138930

... TV news: "There are warning signs about the dam posted along the river." 3, probably 5, Darwin Awards.

Duke Energy sued by family that lost five in tubing accident

A family that lost five members in a tubing accident on a North Carolina river is suing Duke Energy, saying the utility failed to adequately warn people that its dam poses life-threatening risks....

My guess is that the family will lose in court, but Duke may settle rather than roll the dice.

[Vrede too]

At least 17 killed in celebratory gunfire in Kabul - reports

... The Shamshad news agency said "aerial shooting" in Kabul on Friday killed 17 people and wounded 41. Tolo news agency gave a similar toll.

At least 14 people were injured in celebratory firing in Nangarhar province east of the capital, said Gulzada Sangar, spokesman for an area hospital in the provincial capital of Jalalabad.

The gunfire drew a rebuke from the main Taliban spokesman, Zabihullah Mujahid.

"Avoid shooting in the air and thank God instead," Mujahid said in a message on Twitter. "Bullets can harm civilians, so don't shoot unnecessarily."

Ammosexuals, that's how they are.

[neoplacebo]

Hell, maybe they were shooting at god. Or it could have been a protest or celebration against or for yodeling in the presence of goats.

[Vrede too]

Fascinating to me:

People Are Sharing Famous Companies That Went Bankrupt Over Dumb Decisions, And Now I Finally Know What Happened To Circuit City

One example:

9. "A&W created the third-pounder. It was the same price as McDonald's quarter-pounder. It bombed massively. When they tried to find out why, it was discovered that Americans thought they were being cheated because three is a smaller number than four. A&W — realizing they can't explain grade school fractions to fully grown adults without coming across as condescending assholes — quietly took the burger off the menu."

[GoCubsGo]

Totally believable.

[Vrede too]

Missouri Governor Is Extremely Confused About What Constitutes ‘Hacking’

A reporter for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch recently discovered that teachers’ Social Security numbers and other private information were available in the source code of a public website hosted by the Missouri government. He did the right thing by notifying the paper, which then notified the state, even giving it time to take the site down before publishing a story on the vulnerability.

The reporter has now been accused of “hacking” by the Republican Governor Mike Parson, who wants to prosecute him....

Doesn't Parson have an entire govt full of lawyers and IT experts that can advise him not to be a moron?

[O Really]

Doesn't Parson have an entire govt full of lawyers and IT experts that can advise him not to be a moron?

Yeah, but they all work for this RepuQ guy, who seems to also be a moron.

https://ago.mo.gov/

[Vrede too]

Doesn't Parson have an entire govt full of lawyers and IT experts that can advise him not to be a moron?

Yeah, but they all work for this RepuQ guy, who seems to also be a moron.

https://ago.mo.gov/

Yep.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_S._Schmitt

... As Attorney General of Missouri, Schmitt has filed lawsuits to have the Affordable Care Act invalidated by courts, sued school districts and municipalities for implementing mask requirements during the COVID-19 pandemic, sued the Biden administration for its environmental policies, and signed onto am amicus brief that argued that LGBT individuals were not protected by workplace discrimination bans. He filed a lawsuit against China's handling of the pandemic, making Missouri the first U.S. state to do so. After Joe Biden won the 2020 election and Donald Trump refused to concede, Schmitt joined other Republicans in claiming fraud and supported lawsuits to invalidate the 2020 election results.

[Vrede too]

14 Stupid People Who Immediately Lost Their Jobs, And No, You Shouldn't Feel Bad For Them

Examples:

https://www.reddit.com/r/byebyejob/comm ... &ref=share

Starving your kids to own the libs

I’m sure he’s fine with school lunch programs and food pantries.

You gotta own those libs somehow.

Jesus these people are stupid. Think of all the things an employer requires you to do to maintain employment with them, and then a simple 2 gram mask is your limit and you lose your job. I never thought a virus and the precautions taken against it would show so blazenly who is not worthy of being part of our society.

Still wouldn't do it for his 3 kids what a champion

https://www.reddit.com/r/byebyejob/comm ... &ref=share


https://www.reddit.com/r/byebyejob/comm ... &ref=share

[Vrede too]

At least 17 killed in celebratory gunfire in Kabul - reports

Ammosexuals, that's how they are.

Hell, maybe they were shooting at god. Or it could have been a protest or celebration against or for yodeling in the presence of goats.

Speaking of stupid militarists and goats:

Case of mistaken Bill: West Point cadets hit snafu attempting to snatch Navy mascot

... The group of cadets had tried to sneak into the paddock, but it quickly turned noisy and spooked the goats. And the thing about having a long line of look-alike Bills is they, well, look alike. Instead of seizing No. 37, a young angora with curly white wool, the group took No. 34, per the Times.

No. 34 is a 14-year-old retiree with only one horn and an arthritis diagnosis. No one noticed the mistake until the cadets made it back home, per a joint statement by the Army and Navy to the Times....

Swiping another military academy's mascot is a decades-long tradition viewed as a prank, but academy leaders don't like how it looks in public. There's also a chance the mascot is hurt in the process, even if by accident. The prank was largely forbidden by a formal agreement signed in 1992, though there have been incidents since then.

The most notable was in 2018 when West Point cadets took the Air Force Academy's falcon mascot, Aurora, and the animal beat her wings bloody trying to escape the dog crate she was stashed inside....

These are the people we intend to rely on in the future for intelligence gathering, recon, planning, stealth/surprise, target identification and operational success.

[GoCubsGo]

These are the people we intend to rely on in the future for intelligence gathering, recon, planning, stealth/surprise, target identification and operational success.

Not too mention hundreds of millions of dollars of military hardware and live ammunition.