Dumb headlines thread

[neoplacebo]

"8-year-old dies on Christmas after North Carolina driver hit deer in Virginia, cops say."
A lot to unpack in that one. I thought it was some kind of magic shit but here's the story.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/8-old-dies-c ... 05777.html

[Vrede too]

"8-year-old dies on Christmas after North Carolina driver hit deer in Virginia, cops say."
A lot to unpack in that one. I thought it was some kind of magic shit but here's the story.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/8-old-dies-c ... 05777.html

Sad.

... At about 6 p.m., officials said a Honda Odyssey was going north on U.S. Route 29 when it hit a deer in the roadway.

“The crash investigation has determined that the Honda abruptly stopped due to the impact with the deer, a tractor-trailer traveling behind the minivan was unable to stop in time and rear-ended the minivan,” Virginia State Police said in a news release....

No, "the impact with the deer" didn't make the minivan stop, unless it was a John Deere. The driver braked.

I nearly had a similar tragedy decades ago. Was driving someone else's car at night on I-90 in the Midwest. I was in the left lane having just passed a semi in the right lane. A deer ran in front of me from the right. I braked and the deer almost made it but I clipped it with the left front bumper. This threw us into a spin. The car ended up on the RIGHT shoulder, with the semi on its side on the gentle slope off the right shoulder. We were fine, the hero semi driver was fine, our roof racked gear was strewn across the highway, but was fine, we broke a turn signal cover, and the semi probably had thousands of dollars in damage.

Lesson learned - Unless it's 100% safe DO NOT brake. Just plow right through the fuckin' deer.

[billy.pilgrim]

"8-year-old dies on Christmas after North Carolina driver hit deer in Virginia, cops say."
A lot to unpack in that one. I thought it was some kind of magic shit but here's the story.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/8-old-dies-c ... 05777.html

Sad.

... At about 6 p.m., officials said a Honda Odyssey was going north on U.S. Route 29 when it hit a deer in the roadway.

“The crash investigation has determined that the Honda abruptly stopped due to the impact with the deer, a tractor-trailer traveling behind the minivan was unable to stop in time and rear-ended the minivan,” Virginia State Police said in a news release....

No, "the impact with the deer" didn't make the minivan stop, unless it was a John Deere. The driver braked.

I nearly had a similar tragedy decades ago. Was driving someone else's car at night on I-90 in the Midwest. I was in the left lane having just passed a semi in the right lane. A deer ran in front of me from the right. I braked and the deer almost made it but I clipped it with the left front bumper. This threw us into a spin. The car ended up on the RIGHT shoulder, with the semi on its side on the gentle slope off the right shoulder. We were fine, the hero semi driver was fine, our roof racked gear was strewn across the highway, but was fine, we broke a turn signal cover, and the semi probably had thousands of dollars in damage.

Lesson learned - Unless it's 100% safe DO NOT brake. Just plow right through the fuckin' deer.

And the new headline:
Everybody dies when struck deer crashes through windshield

[Vrede too]

... Lesson learned - Unless it's 100% safe DO NOT brake. Just plow right through the fuckin' deer.

And the new headline:
Everybody dies when struck deer crashes through windshield

It happens, rarely, but I'll still take my chances with a deer rather than a semi.

[Ulysses]

"8-year-old dies on Christmas after North Carolina driver hit deer in Virginia, cops say."
A lot to unpack in that one. I thought it was some kind of magic shit but here's the story.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/8-old-dies-c ... 05777.html

I have hit deer twice in my life.

Once was in my old Plymouth, going around a hairpin turn on a favorite road in the hills. The deer ran straight down the hillside to the right, took a look at my car, and then jumped in front of it. Fortunately I had slowed for the turn (maybe 15 mph). The deer and the car collided. The deer proceeded to anoint the front of the car with a turd and ran off to the downward slope on the left. Other than the faecal flag, the car had, as I recall, no damage.

The other time was worse. I was on my motorcycle going up a very steep hill in town. The area to the right was an open field, with neck-high weeds. Again, I wasn't going all that fast, due to the steep slope. Then, as if on cue, a deer suddenly jumped out of the weeds and ran in front of the bike, catching the front wheel. The deer ran off chuckling as I picked myself and the bike off the pavement. No faecal flag that time, at least not that I could see. Relatively minor damage to bike and rider. Like scraped paint on front fender. I've had worse. Don't know about the deer, it disappeared. Probably with a big grin.

Oh deer.

[O Really]

I've never hit a deer, but I've had to very rapidly give right-of-way to moose.

[Ulysses]

I've never hit a deer, but I've had to very rapidly give right-of-way to moose.

Yeah, a moose could stop a passenger car.

Plus, who'd want to hit Bullwinkle?

I forget exactly when the deer are most common on the roads in the hills around here. Might be spring. More likely in fall when they are mating.

[O Really]

Not sure why this is news, except you don't see many bicycles wearing bikinis.

"Anna Kendrick Straddles Bicycle In Bikini"

https://www.inquisitr.com/10000517/anna ... -in-bikini

[Vrede too]

Not sure why this is news ...

Pretty great news for the bicycle.

[O Really]

Not sure why this is news ...

Pretty great news for the bicycle.

Yeah, maybe the headline wasn't dumb. After all, it got me with the "Anna Kendrick straddles..."

[GoCubsGo]

Not sure why this is news ...

Pretty great news for the bicycle.

Yeah, maybe the headline wasn't dumb. After all, it got me with the "Anna Kendrick straddles..."

Woof.

[Vrede too]

New Mexico State Police Shooting Update

Did this happen on the New Mexico State University campus?
Were campus cops involved
Did the police shoot someone?
Did someone die?

No no no and no. A state trooper was shot near Sedillo Hill, nowhere near Las Cruces.
https://news.yahoo.com/state-police-off ... 00077.html
The officer is in stable condition and the suspects have been arrested, btw, things also not mentioned in the misleading headline.

[billy.pilgrim]

https://www.insider.com/woman-donates-p ... ips-2022-2

"A 28-year-old woman is donating plasma twice a week to fund Disney World trips every month in 2022"

Selling blood is a donation. Who knew.

[Vrede too]

https://www.insider.com/woman-donates-p ... ips-2022-2

"A 28-year-old woman is donating plasma twice a week to fund Disney World trips every month in 2022"

Selling blood is a donation. Who knew.

To be fair, "donating/donations" are her words:

... "I was already donating plasma on and off, but I didn't realize how much money I was making from these donations," she said. "I realized that it benefits us in a way where we can enjoy doing something we love, while also helping other people." ...

Then, she's just using the plasma centers' phrasing. Hooterville:

EARN CASH. SAVE LIVES.

Plasma donors are compensated for their life-changing donation!

Donating plasma is safe and easy. Donating plasma can also take longer than donating blood and we know your time is valuable. To thank you for taking the time to donate life-saving plasma, you will be compensated at the end of every donation. ImmunoTek also offers free Wi-Fi and state-of-the-art televisions to provide entertainment while you donate!

As a new donor, you can earn hundreds of dollars a month by donating plasma.

That's a lot. Maybe I'll "donate".

Seems that someone has decided to confound donations with sales, perhaps as an appeal to the altruistic as well as the greedy. Maybe Insider shouldn't play along, though.

[Ulysses]

https://www.insider.com/woman-donates-p ... ips-2022-2

"A 28-year-old woman is donating plasma twice a week to fund Disney World trips every month in 2022"

Selling blood is a donation. Who knew.

Huh.

I thought there was a limit on how much blood one could donate. Seems to me I read about a 45 day wait period before donating again. But maybe plasma has a shorter time period than whole blood?

She cra.

[Vrede too]

... She cra.

How so?

(signature: obsessed butthurt )

Awww. , Useless. So much for "Ignored". You fail again. Plus, Useless, you've been busted too many times for anyone to believe you're not reading my posts, anyhow. It's just your excuse for cowering. Awww.

[Vrede too]

Man Charged With Murdering Texas Nurse Discovered In Garage By Ex-Husband, Children

Sounds like the ex-husband and children caught the murderer, right? Nope.

[neoplacebo]

Here's a good one.
Woman suing former Hamilton County deputy after he baptized her during traffic stop found dead

I guess the baptism didn't take. I don't know where Soddy Daisy TN is but may have to go there and straighten them out.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/woman-suing- ... 00703.html

[O Really]

Here's a good one.
Woman suing former Hamilton County deputy after he baptized her during traffic stop found dead

I guess the baptism didn't take. I don't know where Soddy Daisy TN is but may have to go there and straighten them out.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/woman-suing- ... 00703.html

I've been past Soddy Daisy - on US 27 north of Chattanooga. Can't say I noticed anything but the sign. Probably not worth your effort.

[Ulysses]

Here's a good one.
Woman suing former Hamilton County deputy after he baptized her during traffic stop found dead

I guess the baptism didn't take. I don't know where Soddy Daisy TN is but may have to go there and straighten them out.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/woman-suing- ... 00703.html

Let's hope the court saw fit to drop the lawsuit.