Dumb headlines thread

[O Really]

"Mick Jagger Splits from Younger Girlfriend"

And kept the older one(s)?


Actually, Mick got dumped by the 23 year-old, who found a younger (57) guy.

[O Really]

"Priest criticized teenager who killed himself at funeral"

Sad story, but he didn't really kill himself at the funeral - he was already dead by the time the funeral started.

https://www.wivb.com/news/priest-critic ... 1661574878

[Vrede too]

... he was already dead by the time the funeral started....

I hate the other kind.

[Vrede too]

"Priest criticized teenager who killed himself at funeral"

Sad story, but he didn't really kill himself at the funeral - he was already dead by the time the funeral started.

https://www.wivb.com/news/priest-critic ... 1661574878

This funeral was a mess all the way around:

'Bully' football coach fired after showing up to funeral of teen player who committed suicide

[Leo Lyons]

Not the headline, but. . .

Special forces retake cargo ship after stowaways threatened staff

"Four stowaways who allegedly threatened the crew of a cargo ship with armed bars were detained by police."

Armed bars? Aww hell no! Tell me it ain't so!

[Vrede too]

Colorado man charged with murder in missing mother case

It's really his fiance and the mother of his child. I suspect that his own mother is just fine.

[Vrede too]

Ben Stiller brought his teenage daughter to the Golden Globes – and he wasn't the only one

Wait, just how many people brought Ben Stiller's teenage daughter to the Golden Globes?

[O Really]

"Improvements to me made in Golden Gate City and Golden Gate Esta"

GOLDEN GATE, Fla. - Collier County wants to make some improvements to Golden Gate City and Golden Gate Estates. It's all part of a master plan that's been in ...


Think maybe "improvements to BE made..." might have been a better choice?

[O Really]

"9 Worst Foods With Arthritis"

Plants getting human diseases... who knew?

http://www.foodeatsafe.com/9-worst-food ... =147899059

[O Really]

"Ocasio-Cortez policies drives a steak through the growing US economy: Sen. Barrasso"

[O Really]

"Ocasio-Cortez policies drives a steak through the growing US economy: Sen. Barrasso"

[Vrede too]

"Ocasio-Cortez policies drives a steak through the growing US economy: Sen. Barrasso"

Faux Noise, repeated by Yahoo!

[Vrede too]

7-Eleven driver's scary jailhouse stare reveals nothing as family mourns martyred mom

Leaving aside the ridiculous melodrama of "scary jailhouse stare" and "martyred mom", he wasn't driving a 7-Eleven or even a driver for 7-Eleven.

[O Really]

"Cardi B's Makeup Artist on the Surprising Reason She Glams Up the Rapper While Sleeping"

Some people talk in their sleep, some walk, but glamming up Cardi B is quite a feat.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/car ... 33288.html

[Vrede too]

"Cardi B's Makeup Artist on the Surprising Reason She Glams Up the Rapper While Sleeping"

Some people talk in their sleep, some walk, but glamming up Cardi B is quite a feat.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/car ... 33288.html

Blame the reporter, twice!

... she even does the rapper's makeup while sleeping!

... Their relationship may even be a bit unique, with Erika revealing that she does Cardi's make up while she's asleep in her bed! ...

[O Really]

Once in the headline isn't always enough -
REVEALED: How Princess Diana 'partied at gay club with Freddie Mercury dressed as a MAN'

again in the text...

PRINCESS DIANA partied at a gay club with Freddie Mercury dressed as as “beautiful young man”, a bombshell book claims.

I guess those wife-beater shirts on stage weren't manly enough for this writer.

[Leo Lyons]

I guess those wife-beater shirts on stage weren't manly enough.....

or sKirts.

[Vrede too]

Once in the headline isn't always enough -
REVEALED: How Princess Diana 'partied at gay club with Freddie Mercury dressed as a MAN'

again in the text...

PRINCESS DIANA partied at a gay club with Freddie Mercury dressed as as “beautiful young man”, a bombshell book claims.

I guess those wife-beater shirts on stage weren't manly enough for this writer.

Wasn't Freddie Mercury always dressed as as “beautiful young man”?

This one stunned me:

Death toll at California horse track rises to 19 as employees test soil

"19 horses have died"

Oh, got it. Exact same number of words:

Horse death toll at California track rises to 19 as employees test soil
Death toll at California track rises to 19 horses as employees test soil

[Vrede too]

House passes broad anti-hate resolution after pressure from Omar allies

Given that Omar is a woman, misogyny is a serious issue and the resolution opposes prejudice, maybe they should have called it a 'comprehensive anti-hate resolution'.

[O Really]

House passes broad anti-hate resolution after pressure from Omar allies

Given that Omar is a woman, misogyny is a serious issue and the resolution opposes prejudice, maybe they should have called it a 'comprehensive anti-hate resolution'.

So now you can't be anti-Israel without being anti-semitic, and thus can't follow the centuries-old Greek tradition of despising Turkey without being anti-Islam.

Despite all the kerfuffle about it being said outloud, I haven't heard anybody deny that Israel tries to buy influence.