The Religion Thread

[Bungalow Bill]

I saw similar numbers a while back too. It's been that way for a while, though
I'd guess the gap is growing wider, so maybe U.S. Catholics are sort of LCR.
I think the church is looking for growth in Africa and other areas where the
red meat message seems to go down a lot better.

[rstrong]

I hear that the vote isn't final yet. They're still waiting for the vote from the cardinal from Florida.

[Leo Lyons]

I like this headline-pic combo:

New style of papacy: Pope Francis pays hotel bill

Now I know what my problem is...I'm too humble. I always paid my hotel bill!
(I hate being humiliated)

VATICAN CITY (AP) — Pope Francis put his humility on display during his first day as pontiff Thursday,
stopping by his hotel to pick up his luggage and pay the bill himself......

I think this Pope business is about as looney as it gets.

Ain't no way I'm going to one knee and kissing some dude's ring, nor envisioning him to be the "holy father". I'm not much on the Bible, but I do recall something about referring to a mortal man as the "Father". To me, the whole Catholic doctrine is Biblically confusing.

A half-drunk man who smelled of beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained,
his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol,
contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned”. Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry;
I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

[bannination]

[The Piper]

I've seen this before, but I thought it would be worth sharing.

Every morning at 9am on the dot, the elderly woman would stand on her front porch and looking upwards, would exclaim loudly
"Thank you God for another beautiful day"! Her next door neighbor, an atheist would angrily scream back "Will you STFU, there is no God!".

One morning, the lady stepped out, said her usual line, and then added "Lord....my Social Security check is late, and I have no money at all;
and I have no food in the house...would you please send me a bag of groceries?"

That evening, she stepped out on the porch and found a bag of groceries at the door! Loudly, she was praising God and thanking Him for her
blessings, when her neighbor jumped out from hiding and yelled out..."Aha! I told you there was no God! I bought those groceries and put them there!"
The woman began praising again exclaiming "Thank you again Lord...not only did you provide the groceries, but you made the devil deliver them!"

...and now you know the rest of the story!

[Ombudsman]

I've seen this before, but I thought it would be worth sharing.

Every morning at 9am on the dot, the elderly woman would stand on her front porch and looking upwards, would exclaim loudly
"Thank you God for another beautiful day"! Her next door neighbor, an atheist would angrily scream back "Will you STFU, there is no God!".

One morning, the lady stepped out, said her usual line, and then added "Lord....my Social Security check is late, and I have no money at all;
and I have no food in the house...would you please send me a bag of groceries?"

That evening, she stepped out on the porch and found a bag of groceries at the door! Loudly, she was praising God and thanking Him for her
blessings, when her neighbor jumped out from hiding and yelled out..."Aha! I told you there was no God! I bought those groceries and put them there!"
The woman began praising again exclaiming "Thank you again Lord...not only did you provide the groceries, but you made the devil deliver them!"

...and now you know the rest of the story!

Inane bigotry posing as humor. Is CPF running out of bandwidth?

[The Piper]

Inane bigotry posing as humor. Is CPF running out of bandwidth?

How do you get bigotry out of that? What is CPF?

Easy tiger, it's just a joke and The Piper is one of the more reasonable non-lefties we've ever had. I'd bet the house that CPF would disgust him as much as it does us. Plus, it's poking fun at the woman, too. I just don't see the "Inane bigotry".

Well, uhh, thanks. You are right; I have no idea what a/the CPF is. I visit here very infrequently, and I must have missed something, but if it's what
you've described, I think I don't want to know!

p.s. I can't get used to this new forum format!

[Ombudsman]

I just don't see the "Inane bigotry".

Characterizing atheists as angry emotive types who are the targets of some clever condescending Christian is no different than telling jokes about a black guy eating watermelon and fried chicken. The joke might work better in a Jack Chick tract.

[The Piper]

De nada, but why the "Well, uhh"? Did I come across as insincere?

ConservativePoliticalForum, "highlights" and links can be found on several of our nutjob threads.

No, you didn't. My apologies at any hint otherwise. I was just taken aback as I wasn't expecting that!

I did some backtracking and found what the CPF is, and I'll say now, I'll have no part in it. I consider my self to lean conservatively, but not to
the point of agreeing with everything that Conservatives toss out. To an extent, I am liberal in some thoughts.

I am a Christian, but I don't ascribe to many of the beliefs and actions of many who also claim Christianity. I attend a non-denominational church
that doesn't believe in labels as far as their religious views. 'Christian' means 'Christ-like', but I nor anyone I know come anywhere close to being
Christ-like; we love the Lord and despite our short-comings, we let the Bible be our guide.

I just don't see the "Inane bigotry".

Characterizing atheists as angry emotive types who are the targets of some clever condescending Christian is no different than telling jokes about a black guy eating watermelon and fried chicken.
The joke might work better in a Jack Chick tract.

You've mis-quoted me. I asked "How do you get bigotry out of that?"
So you've never met an "angry emotive" atheist? I've met more than my share; ugly, hateful, spiteful, foul-mouthed....I could go on. (OTOH, I've met some "Christians" like that as well). When I turned my life around, I was met with some of the ugliest tirades and ridicule imaginable by some of my atheist
colleagues. I was man enough to laugh them off without backing down. My question to you is, why could you not see my post as a joke, and why do you automatically assume my post was intended as a bigoted taunt towards atheists? Are you more protective of atheists rather than Christians; can you not accept that both can look at themselves and laugh?

[Ombudsman]

You've mis-quoted me. I asked "How do you get bigotry out of that?"

Actually I quoted you word for word, using the BB quote function. As I previously explained, engaging in stereotypes for the purpose of humor is an example of bigotry.

[The Piper]

You've mis-quoted me. I asked "How do you get bigotry out of that?"

Actually I quoted you word for word, using the BB quote function. As I previously explained, engaging in stereotypes for the purpose of humor is an example of bigotry.

I still don't know where you got that "quote"...it's not mine. I'll not say anything about a "BB quote function"....I'll get in trouble.

If my post offended you, you have my apologies; but...the Lord works in mysterious ways; my post could very well be a good example.

[Leo Lyons]

I'll not say anything about a "BB quote function"....I'll get in trouble.

I'll say it for you since trouble's my middle name....BB quote functions come from BB brains! :idea:

It looks as though 'ol Ommy sees himself in that story, and it pissed him off because it revealed his true character.

[O Really]

Ombud's right in principle - sure, there are some atheists holding up the stereotype, but jokes with them as the butt are no different from jokes where the butt is the Baptist or the Muslim. On the other hand, speaking as a lawyer in a world of lawyer jokes, the world might be better if everybody lightens up in the face of what is obviously a good-natured joke and just goes with it.

[The Piper]

On the other hand, speaking as a lawyer in a world of lawyer jokes, the world might be better if everybody lightens up in the face of what is obviously a good-natured joke and just goes with it.

Correct. Ombudsman can't take a joke regardless of his persuasion.

[Ombudsman]

You've mis-quoted me. I asked "How do you get bigotry out of that?"

Actually I quoted you word for word, using the BB quote function. As I previously explained, engaging in stereotypes for the purpose of humor is an example of bigotry.

I still don't know where you got that "quote"...it's not mine. I'll not say anything about a "BB quote function"....I'll get in trouble.

If my post offended you, you have my apologies; but...the Lord works in mysterious ways; my post could very well be a good example.

I'm sorry. It was a quote from Vrede.

[Ombudsman]

On the other hand, speaking as a lawyer in a world of lawyer jokes, the world might be better if everybody lightens up in the face of what is obviously a good-natured joke and just goes with it.

Correct. Ombudsman can't take a joke regardless of his persuasion.

I can take plenty of jokes but yours was lame because it was an overused formula based on a ridiculous stereotype. I'm sorry you were offended by the comment I made about your joke. Next time I'm LOL dutifully.

[Bungalow Bill]

I guess it all matters from what perspective you approach it. I see it as a joke on
Christians. The atheist put the groceries there and the Holy Roller comes up with
the usual dumbass supernaturalist explanation for something explained through natural
means. Typical.

[homerfobe]

I guess it all matters from what perspective you approach it. I see it as a joke on Christians. The atheist put the groceries there and the Holy Roller comes up with the usual dumbass supernaturalist explanation for something explained through natural means. Typical.

Piper, I see what you mean. Queer lovers can be such hateful bastards.

[homerfobe]

...Queer...

Obsessed.

STFU, stupid.

[Bungalow Bill]

This joke keeps everybody happy, as long as the atheist only has to supply groceries
for one person and doesn't have to mess with that feeding the multitudes with fishies
and loaves thing.