Dumb headlines thread

[Vrede too]

Bridge Design Team Had Meeting On Crack Hours Before Deadly Florida Collapse

It's better to not be on drugs for such meetings.

[Vrede too]

Police kill California man with iPhone in backyard

Droid Razr's aren't as reliable for killing.

Why was the iPhone in the backyard, anyhow?

[Vrede too]

Man charged with domestic violence for allegedly attacking woman with pizza, police say

I thought it was a dumb headline, but the pizza was indeed bizarrely used as a weapon. Then, I saw this:

... Inside, he flipped the coach and continued screaming and throwing things....

"He was highly intoxicated and his mood was rapidly shifting," the report states. "The house was completely trashed, with the coach upside down against the wall." ...

Twice. Maybe it's just me, but I would have put what happened to the coach in the headline.

Comments:

"PHOTO: A pizza is pictured in this undated stock photo."
I'm glad they included this photo. I forgot what a pizza looked like.

After all the tumult, the guy still looks upbeat and optimistic. I'm a little worried about The Coach, though.

Why was there a “coach” there?

What's missing is a statement from the coach.

"Walk it off"...

Sofa as we know, the coach isn't talking.

I hope the pizza is ok

The pizza sustained only minor injuries....whew...

Ohio, the other Florida

I sure hope it wasn't a frozen pizza.

Sofa King hilarious

(say it out loud)

Is he single? Sure looks like quite the catch.

[O Really]

"Parents discover teacher allegedly had sex with their son through cellphone monitoring app"

Offda! That must have been painful.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/m/4e3abeff-e ... acher.html

[Vrede too]

OK, so this is a terrible story of (more) cops behaving badly and could go to the LEO thread, but the headline is too ridiculous to pass up:

Officer Fatally Shoots Woman with Knife Inside Burning Car, Illinois Police Say

https://www.yahoo.com/news/officer-fata ... 17572.html

I would have shot her with a fire extinguisher, but that's just me.

I don't think I would have gotten into the burning car with her, either.

Turns out the police actions were even more outrageous than we knew.

Justice for Decynthia Clements: Demanding Safety, Not Police Bullets, for Black Women in Distress

... After about an hour, Decynthia told police she would get out of her car after she smoked a cigarette. Video footage released by the department shows officers discussing what to do when she did -- including using rubber bullets or a TASER if necessary. And then, as she stepped out, gagging from the smoke of a fire that had broken out inside the vehicle, before she had taken more than a step or two, the lead officer on the scene shot her in the head within seconds, killing her, reading her hasty exit from a burning car as a deadly threat....

Funny how the initial police report muddied the issue when they had the video all along that shows what really happened, isn't it?

[Vrede too]

Adam Silver working to grow WNBA interest in young women, contemplates moving season

They probably could have found phrasing that doesn't sound so creepy.

[O Really]

Well, some playing in the WNBA would very likely have an interest in young women.

[Vrede too]

Well, some playing in the WNBA would very likely have an interest in young women.

I said that it's creepy, not inaccurate.

[Vrede too]

Exotic butterfly thief arrested in Ohio, police say

Should be Exotic exotic butterfly thief.

[O Really]

Too bad about the kid, but why did they electrocute the game?

"10-year-old boy found dead inside dryer after game of hide-and-seek was electrocuted: autopsy"

And related:
"Child dies after playing hide-and-seek in dryer"

Might be picky, but I'd say "Child was killed playing hide-and-seek in dryer"

[O Really]

"Cop chokes black man at Waffle House after taking his sister to prom"

Did the cop take his own sister to the prom, or did he take the black guy's sister?
Either way, it's another example of unwarranted racial fear and cops unable or unwilling to control a situation without violence.

https://news.vice.com/en_us/article/3k4 ... er-to-prom

[O Really]

Headline says, "5-year-old girl attacked by bear and dragged from her home"

Story says kid was inside, then went outside at 2:30 in the morning thinking she heard a strange noise. Ran into the bear. So if you live in Colorado, or WNC and can reasonably expect to see a bear now and then, why on earth would you ever have not made it absolutely clear to the kid not to go outside by herself in the middle of the night, or why would you not have had the latch on the doors anyway?

"A bear attacked and injured a 5-year-old girl in Grand Junction early Sunday morning. At roughly 2:30 a.m., a woman heard screaming coming from her yard in East Orchard Mesa above the Colorado River corridor, according to a statement from Colorado Parks and Wildlife. She went outside and saw a large black bear dragging her 5-year-old daughter. The young girl had gone outside to investigate noises that she thought were caused by her dog. The woman screamed at the black bear, who then dropped the girl, according to Colorado Parks and Wildlife. The young girl was taken to St. Mary’s Medical Center. The Grand Junction Daily Sentinel reported late Sunday that doctors said she was in good condition. ..."

[billy.pilgrim]

Headline says, "5-year-old girl attacked by bear and dragged from her home"

Story says kid was inside, then went outside at 2:30 in the morning thinking she heard a strange noise. Ran into the bear. So if you live in Colorado, or WNC and can reasonably expect to see a bear now and then, why on earth would you ever have not made it absolutely clear to the kid not to go outside by herself in the middle of the night, or why would you not have had the latch on the doors anyway?

"A bear attacked and injured a 5-year-old girl in Grand Junction early Sunday morning. At roughly 2:30 a.m., a woman heard screaming coming from her yard in East Orchard Mesa above the Colorado River corridor, according to a statement from Colorado Parks and Wildlife. She went outside and saw a large black bear dragging her 5-year-old daughter. The young girl had gone outside to investigate noises that she thought were caused by her dog. The woman screamed at the black bear, who then dropped the girl, according to Colorado Parks and Wildlife. The young girl was taken to St. Mary’s Medical Center. The Grand Junction Daily Sentinel reported late Sunday that doctors said she was in good condition. ..."

My bear horns were delivered last week - hope they work.

It has been almost a daily occurrence for neighbors to see bears while walking their dogs.
The soundside beach, where we take our pup, has new tracks every day. They have put a damper on our night walks to the beach.

[O Really]

Over 25 years living in FL and I never saw a bear. Might as well be Sasquatches as far as I can say. Conversely, in WNC we had bear visitors pretty regularly, particularly in Spring and late Fall. We discovered early on that there's no difference in a bird feeder and a bear feeder, and that you want to look carefully around with a good flashlight before going out into the yard after dark.

[rstrong]

The bear costume set me back a few dollars, but it's worth it for all the free tranquilizer shots I'm getting.

[rstrong]

Over 25 years living in FL and I never saw a bear.

And then one morning you wake up to the headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!

Never trust those Winnipeggers.

[billy.pilgrim]

Over 25 years living in FL and I never saw a bear. Might as well be Sasquatches as far as I can say. Conversely, in WNC we had bear visitors pretty regularly, particularly in Spring and late Fall. We discovered early on that there's no difference in a bird feeder and a bear feeder, and that you want to look carefully around with a good flashlight before going out into the yard after dark.

We have to lock our trash cans and clean up their huge poops.


http://www.pnj.com/story/news/local/san ... 817168001/

[Vrede too]

Headline says, "5-year-old girl attacked by bear and dragged from her home"

Story says kid was inside, then went outside at 2:30 in the morning thinking she heard a strange noise....

TV news did the same thing. It's more of a shocker if bears are entering homes to grab pre-schoolers.

[billy.pilgrim]

Headline says, "5-year-old girl attacked by bear and dragged from her home"

Story says kid was inside, then went outside at 2:30 in the morning thinking she heard a strange noise....

TV news did the same thing. It's more of a shocker if bears are entering homes to grab pre-schoolers.

This one came up the steps but didn't go inside


http://www.nwfdailynews.com/news/201709 ... walton-man

[Vrede too]

... So if you live in Colorado, or WNC and can reasonably expect to see a bear now and then,

Depends on the 'hood. It never occurred to me until last October.
http://www.blueridgedebate.com/viewtopi ... ear#p80251

why on earth would you ever have not made it absolutely clear to the kid not to go outside by herself in the middle of the night,

May have been tried for all we know. The kid is 5, they do all sorts of things they've been told not to.

or why would you not have had the latch on the doors anyway? ...

That's a trickier one. Which is more likely for a kid - getting eaten by a bear or dying in a house fire because escape was prevented by latches?