Dumb headlines thread

[GoCubsGo]

Ahh, POOR air quality is even worse. Sorry for you.

Sadly, that wasn't even the worst of the headline.

[Vrede too]

"Air quality especially dangerous for the elderly children and others with respiratory issues."

Ahh, POOR air quality is even worse. Sorry for you.

Sadly, that wasn't even the worst of the headline.

For instance, the implication that all elderly children have respiratory issues.

[Vrede too]

Not a headline, but still. showtimes.com TV guide:

The Real West (2024)
9:00 PM ON HALLHD • TV-G • CC • DVS

A family vacation to a working Ranch introduces Professor Rebecca to Jake West. Rebecca is a widower chasing tenure and Jake is a handsome cowboy who never settled down.

Wait, Rebecca is trans? Damn, modern westerns sure are progressive.

[O Really]

"Hoda Kotb Says Daughter Haley, 8, Found Out She Had Breast Cancer by Reading Her Book"

Didn't know you could get breast cancer before you had breasts.

[Vrede too]

"Hoda Kotb Says Daughter Haley, 8, Found Out She Had Breast Cancer by Reading Her Book"

Didn't know you could get breast cancer before you had breasts.

You get it from reading a book.


Content not headline:

Jon Stewart rips Schumer over joke: ‘What the f‑‑‑ are you doing?’

... Stewart played a clip of Schumer’s remarks during “The Daily Show,” in which the lawmaker said, “Democrats are adamant that we must protect the health care of the American people.”

The comedian chimed in, “If you had stopped there, that would be great. But you’re going to keep talking, aren’t you?”

The recording of Schumer continued with footage of him next to Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn.).

“New data came out today from KFF — and that is not Kentucky Fried French Fries, KFF,” Schumer said before gazing at Klobuchar.

“That’d be Kentucky French Fries, hmm?” the New York senator added, chuckling.

Stewart slammed him for the stale line.

“Who is that joke even for? Six-year-olds who watch C-SPAN? What the f‑‑‑ are you doing?” Stewart reamed.

“Chuck Schumer is a human flat tire. You just can’t, ‘Kentucky Fried French Fry.’” he said, doing an impression of the 74-year-old Democratic leader. “Look at Klobuchar! Poor Klobuchar.

“That is the face of someone who talked to their dad, who said, ‘Just please don’t do your Indian accent in the restaurant. That’s all I’m asking.’” ...

I can't know whether Schumer or Stewart ever elaborated, but The Hill reporter shouldn't have stopped there. I had to go to Wiki to figure out that KFF is the Kaiser Family Foundation.

[O Really]

"Wife of Matlock Star Booted from Show Over Alleged Sexual Assault Slams His Accuser Costar"

Nowhere close. On the "Matlock" show, "... David Del Rio was booted from the show following an alleged incident involving costar Leah Lewis on Paramount property"

The wife was not booted, the wife did not assault. She was just taking up for her husband on Insta.