The Religion Thread

[GoCubsGo]

Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
Well he's not, but guess who is?: All three Stooges!

9/15.

I'm a very bad Jew. In my defense, I call myself a "deli" Jew.

How very Jewish of you to beat yourself up when you're really just a normal Jew - "Jewish 9.5/15".



Delhi Jew

[O Really]

I'll have order #2, please, with a David's Slingshot Hoppy .

[billy.pilgrim]

It's Rick again

["They want to change human DNA so that you can't be born againa race of soulless creatures on this planet"]
http://va.topbuzz.com/s/vUYFxU

" plant-based alternatives to meat and dairy products, is part of a satanic plot to alter human DNA so that people can no longer worship God. “When you go to your favorite fast food restaurant, you are going to be eating a fake hamburger,” ...

"This is the nightmare world"

"Why? They want to change human DNA so that you can’t be born again. That’s where they’re going with this, to change the DNA of humans so it will be impossible for a human to be born again. They want to create a race of soulless creatures on this planet.”


I guess preaching is a lot like writing any fictional weekly installment series, there's a deadline, you gotta have something before the presses start turning (or before you come down off the mountain).

It's their job.

[Vrede too]

It's Rick again ...

Why didn't his god give him a sane brain?


Found: Evangelical Trumpettes are "PORN-AGAIN-CHRISTIANS!"

[Vrede too]

Pastor Who Allegedly Scammed $631,000 From AIDS Charity Says He 'Was Entitled' To the Money

Really?

[Whack9]

[Vrede too]

Here's a good one; I feel it belongs in this religion thread. Lots of people are figuring on storming the secret Area 51 site to find out just what's going on there.
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/hundred ... 11786.html

I feel this is a momentous occasion and that Bob Dylan should rewrite the old Highway 61 song in honor of it, like this:
God said to Abraham "kill me a son."
Abe said "man, you must be puttin' me on."
God said "no."
Abe said "what?"
God said "you can do what you want Abe, but the next time you see me comin' you better run."
Well, Abe said "where you want this killin' done?"
God said "out at Area 51."

3M have signed up now . Those AF warnings are working great.

'Storm Area 51' organizer to throw 'Alien Stock' festival in Nevada desert

[Vrede too]

Church leader fired for secretly photographing woman inside H&M dressing room

A Mormon church member was fired for covertly photographing a woman in a dressing room inside H&M.

On Aug. 13th, Steven Murdock, 55, a leader at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Salt Lake City, Utah, was visiting Tennessee with his wife, when the couple stopped at the Opry Mills Mall in Nashville. While his wife shopped, Murdock stationed himself at the dressing room, presenting himself as an employee.

According to Fox 17, Murdock guided shopper Alondra Alcala into a changing room, then, while she removed her top, he positioned his iPhone camera over the stall door. “I thought it was a joke,” Alcala told Fox 17. “I thought it was a prank, I thought somebody was just messing with me."

... While somebody called 911, Alcala grabbed Murdock but he started deleting photos from his phone. However, the woman grabbed the phone and ran away.

A spokesperson from the Davison County Criminal Court did not immediately respond to a records request from Yahoo Lifestyle, but an arrest affidavit obtained by Fox 17 stated that Murdock’s wife asked his victim to not call the police....

Not just a creep, but also a really stupid and incompetent one. He got owned by his victim, and his wife sucks.

[O Really]

... and his wife sucks.

Or maybe she doesn't.

[Vrede too]

... and his wife sucks.

Or maybe she doesn't.

Comments:

Wife asked her not to call police. If someone did that to their daughter, would she say the same thing?

She was in on it, she wanted to view the video later with hubby at home with bottle of wine. Sick

The wife is more concerned about her standing in the church than her husband being a closet perv.

Maybe the pics were for her?

wife asked her not to call the police?! she needs to be charged too

Why? Obstruction of justice is no longer a criminal offense.

[Vrede too]

Court Approves Banning Atheists From Reciting Opening Prayers At State House

A federal appeals court ruling on legislative prayer has alarmed secular activists who say the decision privileges people who believe in God and treats nontheists like “second-class citizens.”

The 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled Friday that it’s constitutional for the Pennsylvania House of Representatives to ban guest chaplains who don’t believe in God or a higher power from delivering opening invocations at its meetings.

A group of atheists, agnostics, freethinkers and humanists sued members of the Pennsylvania House in 2016 over its theists-only policy for guest chaplains, arguing that it violates the Constitution’s establishment clause, which prohibits the government from promoting specific religious beliefs.

Judge Thomas L. Ambro, who wrote Friday’s 2-1 majority opinion, claimed that because prayer presupposes a higher power, “only theistic invocations can achieve all the purposes of legislative prayer.”

“As a matter of traditional practice, a petition to human wisdom and the power of science does not capture the full sense of ‘prayer,’ historically understood,” Ambro wrote. “Because [nontheists] do not proclaim the existence of a higher power, they cannot offer religious prayer in the historical sense.” ...

:confusion-scratchheadblue:

Bad ruling, but oh well. Time to step up, Wiccans, Satanists, uber-con Muslims, FSM followers, etc. As Superstar Cultmaster, could I get an invocation slot?

[neoplacebo]

This is terrible news; I was planning on giving a sermon in the near future in Nashville based on a little religious comic book I found on a public men's room floor. It was titled "The Wages of Sin" and I feel I have the expertise in this area to render a fine oration in support of sin.

[1 CAT FAN]

Become the Word

[Vrede too]

This is terrible news; I was planning on giving a sermon in the near future in Nashville based on a little religious comic book I found on a public men's room floor. It was titled "The Wages of Sin" and I feel I have the expertise in this area to render a fine oration in support of sin.

You get paid for your sins? Where do I sign up?

[neoplacebo]

This is terrible news; I was planning on giving a sermon in the near future in Nashville based on a little religious comic book I found on a public men's room floor. It was titled "The Wages of Sin" and I feel I have the expertise in this area to render a fine oration in support of sin.

You get paid for your sins? Where do I sign up?

Ah, according to the religious comics, the "wages" of sin are entirely metaphorical in the sense that one doesn't actually get PAID for sinning unless you're the CEO of a large corporation (ie Dick Cheney). My sins, although nothing to sneeze at, do not rise to such a level and probably explains why someone else of my own sort of persuasion discarded the vile tract in the first place. Pardon me, but I feel a powerful urge for some full bore sinning coming on me.

[Vrede too]

Ah, according to the religious comics, the "wages" of sin are entirely metaphorical in the sense that one doesn't actually get PAID for sinning unless you're the CEO of a large corporation (ie Dick Cheney). My sins, although nothing to sneeze at, do not rise to such a level and probably explains why someone else of my own sort of persuasion discarded the vile tract in the first place. Pardon me, but I feel a powerful urge for some full bore sinning coming on me.

Full bowl sinning? Ah well, everyone is a sinner.

'Hypocrite' Jerry Falwell Jr. Slammed As New Miami Party Pics Surface

... But at least one of Falwell’s denials is already falling apart. He denied being on the Miami party scene at the Wall club in 2014.

“There was no picture snapped of me at Wall nightclub or any other nightclub,” Falwell said, and claimed any image showing as much was “photo-shopped.” ...

The Pics

Nothing scandalous about them, other than that he's a baldfaced liar that got caught.

[neoplacebo]

Ah, according to the religious comics, the "wages" of sin are entirely metaphorical in the sense that one doesn't actually get PAID for sinning unless you're the CEO of a large corporation (ie Dick Cheney). My sins, although nothing to sneeze at, do not rise to such a level and probably explains why someone else of my own sort of persuasion discarded the vile tract in the first place. Pardon me, but I feel a powerful urge for some full bore sinning coming on me.

Full bowl sinning? Ah well, everyone is a sinner.

'Hypocrite' Jerry Falwell Jr. Slammed As New Miami Party Pics Surface

... But at least one of Falwell’s denials is already falling apart. He denied being on the Miami party scene at the Wall club in 2014.

“There was no picture snapped of me at Wall nightclub or any other nightclub,” Falwell said, and claimed any image showing as much was “photo-shopped.” ...

The Pics

Nothing scandalous about them, other than that he's a baldfaced liar that got caught.

No, no, no. Full bore, both hands on the throttle sinning. That's the sort Jerry Jr longs for, and the kind I myself am partial to. Full bowl sinning is foul evidence of not sinning successfully. And, by the way, I have no idea if anyone has pictures or video of me while I sin.

[Vrede too]

No, no, no. Full bore, both hands on the throttle sinning. That's the sort Jerry Jr longs for, and the kind I myself am partial to. Full bowl sinning is foul evidence of not sinning successfully. And, by the way, I have no idea if anyone has pictures or video of me while I sin.

Full bore meltdown:

Exclusive: Falwell blasted Liberty student as 'retarded,' police chief as 'half-wit' in emails

Apparently, god does not help rightwing xtians run things smoothly. Funny that. To be fair, though, Liberty students are "retarded" and the campus police chief probably is a "half-wit".

[neoplacebo]

No, no, no. Full bore, both hands on the throttle sinning. That's the sort Jerry Jr longs for, and the kind I myself am partial to. Full bowl sinning is foul evidence of not sinning successfully. And, by the way, I have no idea if anyone has pictures or video of me while I sin.

Full bore meltdown:

Exclusive: Falwell blasted Liberty student as 'retarded,' police chief as 'half-wit' in emails

Apparently, god does not help rightwing xtians run things smoothly. Funny that. To be fair, though, Liberty students are "retarded" and the campus police chief probably is a "half-wit".

I guess I have to concur with Jerry in that I feel anyone who spends money to attend Liberty University is somewhat retarded, or at least a closet moonbat with nutjob tendencies. Thought it was funny that Jerry says the dean of the Engineering school "can't spell profit" which should not be a major concern at a "non profit" university. This tells me Jerry sees no difference between prophet and profit, and that Jerry is just propheteering under the skirts of religion and false piety. I think Jerry should be waterboarded twice daily in front of the student center and then repeatedly tased while wearing copper shoes.

[Vrede too]

I guess I have to concur with Jerry in that I feel anyone who spends money to attend Liberty University is somewhat retarded, or at least a closet moonbat with nutjob tendencies. Thought it was funny that Jerry says the dean of the Engineering school "can't spell profit" which should not be a major concern at a "non profit" university. This tells me Jerry sees no difference between prophet and profit, and that Jerry is just propheteering under the skirts of religion and false piety. I think Jerry should be waterboarded twice daily in front of the student center and then repeatedly tased while wearing copper shoes.

Too bad daddy's dead. This makes me hope that there is an afterlife so he can witness what xtian con parenting leads to.