The Religion Thread

[neoplacebo]

Pat Robertson says god told him trump will win and shortly thereafter the end of the world happens. Nobody knows why god keeps lying to Pat Robertson.
https://www.yahoo.com/huffpost/pat-robe ... 13544.html

[Vrede too]

Pat Robertson says god told him trump will win and shortly thereafter the end of the world happens. Nobody knows why god keeps lying to Pat Robertson.
https://www.yahoo.com/huffpost/pat-robe ... 13544.html

Great headline:

Pat Robertson Shares Bonkers Message From God And Twitter Users Raise Holy Hell

The article and tweets are also hilarious. Here's one:

[Vrede too]

Another case where the faith was just not strong enough.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/one-best-rev ... 27925.html

Idk, maybe MORE of us are praying that religious COVIDiots get the karmic lessons they deserve.

Deaths, hospitalizations and at least 68 COVID-19 cases after weeklong church event

At least two people are dead, four hospitalized and at least 68 positive cases of COVID-19 have been confirmed following a weeklong convocation event at a church in North Carolina.

The week of events took place at the United House of Prayer for All People in Charlotte, North Carolina, and the numbers include attendees and close contacts of people who attended the services at the church. Authorities and health officials have said they are still trying to track down 94 more close contacts of the people who tested positive.

Health officials in Mecklenburg County have said they have contacted local health departments in North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, New Jersey and New York to warn them of possible cases tied to the events....

[neoplacebo]

Goddamn, what's wrong with these waterheads? They need to start handling snakes; this can be done at home or in small groups. it would be a chance to test their faith and worship without fear of deadly viral infection. Snakes don't get this virus. Simple things just don't get the attention they deserve. I walk thirty seven miles of barbed wire; wear a cobra snake for a necktie; covid dies by the roadside. Who do you love? Amen

[Vrede too]

Goddamn, what's wrong with these waterheads? They need to start handling snakes; this can be done at home or in small groups. it would be a chance to test their faith and worship without fear of deadly viral infection. Snakes don't get this virus. Simple things just don't get the attention they deserve. I walk thirty seven miles of barbed wire; wear a cobra snake for a necktie; covid dies by the roadside. Who do you love? Amen

The Moosiah has returned!
https://nypost.com/video/moose-running- ... ous-sight/

[neoplacebo]

Goddamn, what's wrong with these waterheads? They need to start handling snakes; this can be done at home or in small groups. it would be a chance to test their faith and worship without fear of deadly viral infection. Snakes don't get this virus. Simple things just don't get the attention they deserve. I walk thirty seven miles of barbed wire; wear a cobra snake for a necktie; covid dies by the roadside. Who do you love? Amen

The Moosiah has returned!
https://nypost.com/video/moose-running- ... ous-sight/

This is snake handling music....the guy with the coyboy hat is Ronnie Hawkins. Pass me a snake.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYPVyJwzerM

[GoCubsGo]

Taking full responsibility for his actions, just as Jesus would do.

[neoplacebo]

Another victim. The cat fan takes comfort.

[Leo Lyons]

This is snake handling music..... Pass me a snake.

I've not thought of this in many years until I read this post. I went undercover in one of these fruitcake palaces several years back and I was completely dumbfounded at the lengths people would go to worship "in the name of the Lord". This is some REAL snake handling shit.

[neoplacebo]

This is snake handling music..... Pass me a snake.

I've not thought of this in many years until I read this post. I went undercover in one of these fruitcake palaces several years back and I was completely dumbfounded at the lengths people would go to worship "in the name of the Lord". This is some REAL snake handling shit.

I would be curious to know under what pretense you were "undercover" there.....stolen snakes? Accessory after the snake? Fugitive preacher?
Fugitive congregation? Last time I checked it wasn't illegal to be a religious nutjob.

[Vrede too]

I've not thought of this in many years until I read this post. I went undercover in one of these fruitcake palaces several years back and I was completely dumbfounded at the lengths people would go to worship "in the name of the Lord". This is some REAL snake handling shit.

Yeah, that is snakebit dead Pentecostal pastor Jamie Coots.

4 1/2 years later his idiot son almost succumbed:
viewtopic.php?p=88134#p88134

LOLOLOL

Pastor almost killed by snake during sermon vows to keep handling snakes

Shocking pictures show Cody Coots fighting to stay alive in hospital while on life support. His face and airways were left badly swollen and bruised after he allowed a timber rattlesnake to bite him during a sermon.

Cody knew better than anyone about the dangers of handling snakes as he took over his congregation from his father, after he died from a snake bite during a sermon in 2014.

In disturbing footage taken from the sermon in Middlesboro, Kentucky, Cody looks clearly unstable after the snake lunged at his ear, and he asks the congregation to take him to the mountaintop where God would judge whether he lives or dies.

Fortunately, one of his congregation saw sense and took him to a hospital instead, where doctors said the snake came close to severing his temporal artery, which would have almost certainly killed him....

Cody admitted that he feels ‘like maybe there’s part of me missing’....

Seems to me that either the Buybull is , or the Coots' faith is sorely lacking.



Moral of the story - Only handle snakes when there's a huge guy there that will ignore your refusal to go to the hospital.

[Vrede too]

I would be curious to know under what pretense you were "undercover" there.....stolen snakes? Accessory after the snake? Fugitive preacher?
Fugitive congregation? Last time I checked it wasn't illegal to be a religious nutjob.

Leo Lyons was a narc. Clearly, he'd received a tip that snake handlers are so stupid that they must be on drugs.

[neoplacebo]

I would be curious to know under what pretense you were "undercover" there.....stolen snakes? Accessory after the snake? Fugitive preacher?
Fugitive congregation? Last time I checked it wasn't illegal to be a religious nutjob.

Leo Lyons was a narc. Clearly, he'd received a tip that snake handlers are so stupid that they must be on drugs.

I've been serving in the war on drugs, on drug's side, for half a century and have yet to know of any drug that would cause me to, or even make me think about, handling snakes. And to this day, should I be faced with a choice between two doors; one labeled "drugs" and one labeled "snake handling" I will take "drugs" every single time. Also on the way back from Johnson City today I heard the old Huey Lewis song "I Want a New Drug." I want a new drug; one that does what it should...one that won't me feel too bad....one that won't make me feel too good."

[Vrede too]

Leo Lyons was a narc. Clearly, he'd received a tip that snake handlers are so stupid that they must be on drugs.

I've been serving in the war on drugs, on drug's side, for half a century and have yet to know of any drug that would cause me to, or even make me think about, handling snakes. And to this day, should I be faced with a choice between two doors; one labeled "drugs" and one labeled "snake handling" I will take "drugs" every single time. Also on the way back from Johnson City today I heard the old Huey Lewis song "I Want a New Drug." I want a new drug; one that does what it should...one that won't me feel too bad....one that won't make me feel too good."

I didn't say that it was a good tip.

[Vrede too]

Another case where the faith was just not strong enough.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/one-best-rev ... 27925.html

A televangelist who referred to the coronavirus as a 'privilege' has died from it

... Irvin Baxter died in the hospital at 75, according to a press release from Endtime

Irony.

Ministries, which Baxter founded.

Baxter was a vocal supporter of President Donald Trump and had suggested premarital sex was the reason the coronavirus exists.

More irony, as Stormy can attest.

During a March discussion on "The Jim Bakker Show,"

More irony, as Jessica Hahn can attest.

a national TV show centered around the end of time, Baxter preached about "the sin of fornication" outside marriage.

"I thought about fornication

a lot

and I did a little research," he said.

Porn.

"I hope this research is not correct,

It's not.

but I got it straight from the encyclopedia. It says that 5% of new brides in America now are virgins.

4% are lying.

That means 95 percent have already committed fornication!"

99 percent, including Pastor Baxter's wife and adult children and adult grandchildren.

He said millions of unmarried American couples were living together and having sex, which he called sinful and punishable in the eyes of God.

"God may be using this as a wake-up call," Baxter then said about the coronavirus.

'Go to sleep' call in his case.

"This coronavirus may be a privilege, because I'll tell you right now, there is a much bigger judgment coming. It's in the Bible."

Pastor Baxter is privileged.

Baxter denounced people who "think we can just ignore God and live a sinful lifestyle."

... Baxter was a Texas-based televangelist who hosted a biblical prophecy TV show, "End of the Age," which reached over 100 million people in North America, according to the release.

Idk if Pastor Baxter fornicated, but he's definitely fucked. Karma trumps Pentecostalism, again.



He had a purty mouth, nttawwt.

Does this mean that Leo Lyons has been fornicating?

[neoplacebo]

I think I'd rather have a perpendicular Bible than a parallel one. I might be interested in a parallax Bible, though.

[Vrede too]

I think I'd rather have a perpendicular Bible than a parallel one. I might be interested in a parallax Bible, though.

"A yellow entity that was made of living fear. It created terror into anything it came in contact with. Caused entire civilizations to destroy themselves out of paranoia. Their fear was eaten by this creature. And that creature was called Parallax."

Hmmm, just like the regular Bible.

[Vrede too]

viewtopic.php?p=130410#p130410

... "Supreme Court Says New York Can't Limit Attendance In Houses of Worship Due To COVID"

https://www.npr.org/sections/coronaviru ... -due-to-co

That wasn't at all what the Court said. Nowhere close. Short version - the Court temporarily barred a specific NY restriction, based at least mostly on the fact that it was overly strict and that it was not consistent with restrictions on various secular entities. The Court did not say attendance could not be limited at all.

Now sure, some of the justices may very well think no limitations whatsoever should be allowed, but that's not what this ruling says....

Yep, when the case is about equally applied restrictions Alito says, "Fuck off, pastor."

The Supreme Court refused to get involved in the case of a Louisiana pastor who ignored the governor's order banning large gatherings

[Whack9]

Kenneth Copeland's metal band:

[Vrede too]

Kenneth Copeland's metal band:

:laughing-rofl: :angel4: I hear the angels sing, and it sounds like . . . VICTORY!!!


Trump's faith advisor goes HEAVY METAL!


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