Animals

[neoplacebo]

What are you smoking?

Is Neo sharing?

As kids we learned to throw up our lunch once we got back in class. It was a good way to avoid being stuck in a classroom. Just the threat of it or a queasy look would send the teacher into a state of panic and hysteria. I think I received a letter in this but it might have been a letter to my parents for having me. I know it was a letter, though.

Sort of like baby vultures.

Oh, good. Glad you're up. Never mind baby vultures. None of them survive. You spend the rest of the day finding out why there's no baby pigeons. All the pigeons I've ever seen are about the same size....no babies. There's something wrong with this. Now I'm going to go break the law and earn another letter just for persistence. You get back to me about those baby pigeons.

[Ulysses]

What are you smoking?

Is Neo sharing?

As kids we learned to throw up our lunch once we got back in class. It was a good way to avoid being stuck in a classroom. Just the threat of it or a queasy look would send the teacher into a state of panic and hysteria. I think I received a letter in this but it might have been a letter to my parents for having me. I know it was a letter, though.

Sort of like baby vultures.

Oh, good. Glad you're up. Never mind baby vultures. None of them survive. You spend the rest of the day finding out why there's no baby pigeons. All the pigeons I've ever seen are about the same size....no babies. There's something wrong with this. Now I'm going to go break the law and earn another letter just for persistence. You get back to me about those baby pigeons.

Nah.

Besides, not too many baby pigeons here. Nor are there any adult pigeons. I'll leave that to you to figure out why. Obviously you have nothing better to do.

But thanks for "asking".

[neoplacebo]

I didn't ask. I told you what to do. Just for that, I'm going to chase down, kill, and eat the next animal I see. And it's your fault. How many hummingbirds have you tortured today? That fucking letter "H" back in junior high was probably a portent of future hummingbird torture. sick

[Ulysses]

I didn't ask. I told you what to do. Just for that, I'm going to chase down, kill, and eat the next animal I see. And it's your fault. How many hummingbirds have you tortured today? That fucking letter "H" back in junior high was probably a portent of future hummingbird torture. sick

1) It wasn't an "H"...

2) I don't torture hummingbirds...

3) I am not responsible for your insanity...

4) Yes you did ask...

5) You're the sick one... but not the sickest one here... you know who...

[Vrede too]

I didn't ask. I told you what to do. Just for that, I'm going to chase down, kill, and eat the next animal I see. And it's your fault. How many hummingbirds have you tortured today? That fucking letter "H" back in junior high was probably a portent of future hummingbird torture. sick

1) It wasn't an "H"...

The applique letter given out by Herbert Hoover Junior High was not an "H"? More evidence that your supposed straight As were meaningless.

2) I don't torture hummingbirds...

Defensive, aren't you?

3) I am not responsible for your insanity...

Defensive, aren't you?

4) Yes you did ask...

No, not a single question, just demands. More evidence that your supposed straight As were meaningless.

5) You're the sick one... but not the sickest one here... you know who...

Projection, as usual.
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=4151&p=141763#p141763

[neoplacebo]

I ran down a big lizard and grappled with it for several minutes before stomping it to death. After that, I sort of wished I'd let it go since I wasn't very hungry. And you've already confessed to hummingbird torture. And a hummingbird wouldn't yield more than a couple of bites. you sick

[Ulysses]

I ran down a big lizard and grappled with it for several minutes before stomping it to death. After that, I sort of wished I'd let it go since I wasn't very hungry. And you've already confessed to hummingbird torture. And a hummingbird wouldn't yield more than a couple of bites. you sick

Again, I don't torture hummingbirds. The mishap I shared here was just that: entirely unintentional on my part. If I thought someone would misinterpret like you have, I would not have shared it.

Besides, I don't think hummingbirds bite anyway. They might try to lick someone to death, but even that is highly unlikely.

Now, you just confessed to being a proud lizard stomper.

That's sort of disgusting in its own way.

Next you'll be voting Republican, I imagine.

[Vrede too]

I ran down a big lizard and grappled with it for several minutes before stomping it to death. After that, I sort of wished I'd let it go since I wasn't very hungry. And you've already confessed to hummingbird torture. And a hummingbird wouldn't yield more than a couple of bites. you sick

Again, I don't torture hummingbirds.

Very defensive, aren't you?

The mishap I shared here was just that: entirely unintentional on my part.

Prisons are full of "unintentional" criminals.

If I thought someone would misinterpret like you have, I would not have shared it.

Whooosh.

Besides, I don't think hummingbirds bite anyway. They might try to lick someone to death, but even that is highly unlikely.

Ummm, he meant that you killed it for a snack, duh.

Now, you just confessed to being a proud lizard stomper.

I'm proud of him, too.

That's sort of disgusting in its own way.

Whooosh.

Next you'll be voting Republican, I imagine.

What part of 'proud lizard stomper' is unclear to you?

[neoplacebo]

I ran down a big lizard and grappled with it for several minutes before stomping it to death. After that, I sort of wished I'd let it go since I wasn't very hungry. And you've already confessed to hummingbird torture. And a hummingbird wouldn't yield more than a couple of bites. you sick

Again, I don't torture hummingbirds. The mishap I shared here was just that: entirely unintentional on my part. If I thought someone would misinterpret like you have, I would not have shared it.

Besides, I don't think hummingbirds bite anyway. They might try to lick someone to death, but even that is highly unlikely.

Now, you just confessed to being a proud lizard stomper.

That's sort of disgusting in its own way.

Next you'll be voting Republican, I imagine.

Don't sell yourself short, punchy. You publicly confessed to hummingbird atrocity and I shudder to think of what vile unspeakable other things you've done that you've NOT confessed to. But I feel certain that at least some of your neighbors are aware of your actions. And lay off that "it was an accident" line. The evidence shows that your contraption had devious intent all along. And don't change the subject.....I didn't insinuate that hummingbirds bite; only that a meal of one would only be one or two bites. Now a full grown poison secreting lizard is something one cannot easily eat at one sitting. Shit, I'm still scraping the poison off my shoes after a satisfying stomp.

[Ulysses]

I ran down a big lizard and grappled with it for several minutes before stomping it to death. After that, I sort of wished I'd let it go since I wasn't very hungry. And you've already confessed to hummingbird torture. And a hummingbird wouldn't yield more than a couple of bites. you sick

Again, I don't torture hummingbirds. The mishap I shared here was just that: entirely unintentional on my part. If I thought someone would misinterpret like you have, I would not have shared it.

Besides, I don't think hummingbirds bite anyway. They might try to lick someone to death, but even that is highly unlikely.

Now, you just confessed to being a proud lizard stomper.

That's sort of disgusting in its own way.

Next you'll be voting Republican, I imagine.

Don't sell yourself short, punchy. You publicly confessed to hummingbird atrocity and I shudder to think of what vile unspeakable other things you've done that you've NOT confessed to. But I feel certain that at least some of your neighbors are aware of your actions. And lay off that "it was an accident" line. The evidence shows that your contraption had devious intent all along. And don't change the subject.....I didn't insinuate that hummingbirds bite; only that a meal of one would only be one or two bites. Now a full grown poison secreting lizard is something one cannot easily eat at one sitting. Shit, I'm still scraping the poison off my shoes after a satisfying stomp.

Sounds like Neospasm is the one who is prone to commit atrocious acts upon small defenceless animals. I can see him salivating over the prospect of yet another victim for his sick imagination.

I rescind my invitation for you to come visit. Likely you'd only make things worse.

[Vrede too]

Don't sell yourself short, punchy. You publicly confessed to hummingbird atrocity and I shudder to think of what vile unspeakable other things you've done that you've NOT confessed to. But I feel certain that at least some of your neighbors are aware of your actions. And lay off that "it was an accident" line. The evidence shows that your contraption had devious intent all along. And don't change the subject.....I didn't insinuate that hummingbirds bite; only that a meal of one would only be one or two bites. Now a full grown poison secreting lizard is something one cannot easily eat at one sitting. Shit, I'm still scraping the poison off my shoes after a satisfying stomp.

Sounds like Neospasm is the one who is prone to commit atrocious acts upon small defenceless animals. I can see him salivating over the prospect of yet another victim for his sick imagination.

I rescind my invitation for you to come visit. Likely you'd only make things worse.

Whooosh.

Lake Tahoe closes some areas due to plague-infected chipmunks

A few areas on the south shore of Lake Tahoe will be closed to visitors this week after some chipmunks tested positive for plague, officials in California's El Dorado County said.

Sneaky little bastards. Would Useless' hummingbird torture and roasting device work on them?

The plague-carrying chipmunks had no contact with people, an El Dorado County spokesman said, and the Taylor Creek Visitor Center, Kiva Beach, and their parking areas will probably be open by Friday, after the U.S. Forest Service conducts its eradication treatments....

They're bringing in specialist from New Hampshire.

8-year-old hunting chipmunks shoots uncle in ‘freak accident,’ New Hampshire cops say

It's not "hunting" when you're shooting at chipmunks, it's armed animal cruelty. And, it's not an "accident", it's karma.

Men who "hunt" chipmunks aren't hunting and aren't men.

"The man and his nephew were shooting chipmunks when a bullet fired by the 8-year-old ricocheted after killing one of the rodents"

Although they are technically rodents, they are more technically cute as anything on the planet and only hunted by scumbags and trumpaloons.

The plague-ridden chipmunks aren't quite as cute. They're more like movie gremlins.

[billy.pilgrim]

It is said in the book "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" that Jesus got his start resurrecting lizards

"Chapter One
You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don’t. Trust me, I was there. I know.

The first time I saw the man who would save the world he was sitting near the central well in Nazareth with a lizard hanging out of his mouth. Just the tail end and the hind legs were visible on the outside; the head and forelegs were halfway down the hatch. He was six, like me, and his beard had not come in fully, so he didn’t look much like the pictures you’ve seen of him. His eyes were like dark honey, and they smiled at me out of a mop of blue-black curls that framed his face. There was a light older than Moses in those eyes.

“Unclean! Unclean!” I screamed, pointing at the boy, so my mother would see that I knew the law, but she ignored me, as did all the other mothers who were filling their jars at the well.

The boy took the lizard from his mouth and handed it to his younger brother, who sat beside him in the sand. The younger boy played with the lizard for a while, teasing it until it reared its little head as if to bite, then he picked up a rock and mashed the creatures head. Bewildered, he pushed the dead lizard around in the sand, and once assured that it wasn’t going anywhere on its own, he picked it up and handed it back to his older brother.

Into his mouth went the lizard, and before I could accuse, out it came again, squirming and alive and ready to bite once again. He handed it back to his younger brother, who smote it mightily with the rock, starting or ending the whole process again.

I watched the lizard die three more times before I said, “I want to do that too.”

The Savior removed the lizard from his mouth and said, “Which part?”

By the way, his name was Joshua. Jesus is the Greek translation of the Hebrew Yeshua, which is Joshua. Christ is not a last name. It’s the Greek for messiah, a Hebrew word meaning anointed. I have no idea what the “H” in Jesus H. Christ stood for. It’s one of the things I should have asked him. Me? I am Levi who is called Biff. No middle initial. Joshua was my best friend."

[Vrede too]

... I watched the lizard die three more times before I said, “I want to do that too.”

The Savior removed the lizard from his mouth and said, “Which part?” ...

I really hope that Biff didn't pick the lizard's role.

I scream, “Unclean! Unclean!” and point at neoplácidodomingo all the time, but people just give me hostile glares.

[billy.pilgrim]

... I watched the lizard die three more times before I said, “I want to do that too.”

The Savior removed the lizard from his mouth and said, “Which part?” ...

I really hope that Biff didn't pick the lizard's role.

I scream, “Unclean! Unclean!” and point at neoplácidodomingo all the time, but people just give me hostile glares.

The narrator can't die, besides Biff and Jesus are best buds in those never before explained years.

[Vrede too]

The narrator can't die, besides Biff and Jesus are best buds in those never before explained years.

The lizard didn't die, sort of.

[billy.pilgrim]

The narrator can't die, besides Biff and Jesus are best buds in those never before explained years.

The lizard didn't die, sort of.

It's a Good Book that explains a lot that is missing in the other one.

[neoplacebo]

... I watched the lizard die three more times before I said, “I want to do that too.”

The Savior removed the lizard from his mouth and said, “Which part?” ...

I really hope that Biff didn't pick the lizard's role.

I scream, “Unclean! Unclean!” and point at neoplácidodomingo all the time, but people just give me hostile glares.

We do this all the time. I stand across the street while he screams these diatribes. Sometimes shrug my shoulders. It's funny.

[Ulysses]

How brassiere.

[neoplacebo]

How wet pants with sand in them.

[billy.pilgrim]

How brassiere.

Christopher Moore mostly writes about your area, albeit from a different POV.