Goats can fly too.Vrede wrote:
Just for Fun
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Mr.B
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Re: Just for Fun
Little Mikey was playing in the yard; Dad was inside watching Internet porn. A neighbor knocked on the front door just as Mikey was coming in to go to the bathroom. While Dad was at the door, Mikey noticed the goings-on on the monitor, and began to watch.
It was a beach scene with a man and woman lying on a beach towel; she was wearing the tiniest of bikinis. The man snatches off her top and proclaims
"I want what I want when I want it"! Just then Mikey hears Dad and the neighbor finish their conversation, so he scurries off to the bathroom.
Later that afternoon, Mikey and little Susie from next door was playing in the sandbox. She was wearing a two-piece polka-dot sun suit.
Mikey yanked off her top and said "I want what I want when I want it"!
Susie snatches the top out of his hands and proceeds to put it back on, saying
"You'll dit what I dot when I dit it"!
It was a beach scene with a man and woman lying on a beach towel; she was wearing the tiniest of bikinis. The man snatches off her top and proclaims
"I want what I want when I want it"! Just then Mikey hears Dad and the neighbor finish their conversation, so he scurries off to the bathroom.
Later that afternoon, Mikey and little Susie from next door was playing in the sandbox. She was wearing a two-piece polka-dot sun suit.
Mikey yanked off her top and said "I want what I want when I want it"!
Susie snatches the top out of his hands and proceeds to put it back on, saying
"You'll dit what I dot when I dit it"!
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Mr.B
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Re: Just for Fun
You ain't right. That joke's older than I am. In the original, the kid slipped into the porn theater.Vrede wrote:"Later, she scolded Uncle B for imagining her topless."
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Mr.B
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Re: Just for Fun
Welcome aboard Mark.....if you're "the" Mark Schulman that we all know and love!Mark Schulman wrote: "oh no she didn't!"
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bannination
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Mr.B
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Re: Just for Fun
A Prayer for Leroy
(by Ben Witherington)
The preacher said, “Anyone with ‘special needs’ who wants to be prayed over, come forward to the altar.”
With that, Leroy got in line and when it was his turn, the preacher asked, “Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?”
Leroy replied, “Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing.” The preacher put his hands over Leroy’s ears, and prayed and prayed and prayed.
He prayed a “blue streak” for Leroy, and after awhile the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.
When the preacher finally had prayed all he could pray, he removed his hands, dried the sweat on his brow, and said,
“Leroy, tell the congregation, how is your hearing?”
Leroy answered, “I don’t know. It ain’t ’til next week.”
(by Ben Witherington)
The preacher said, “Anyone with ‘special needs’ who wants to be prayed over, come forward to the altar.”
With that, Leroy got in line and when it was his turn, the preacher asked, “Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?”
Leroy replied, “Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing.” The preacher put his hands over Leroy’s ears, and prayed and prayed and prayed.
He prayed a “blue streak” for Leroy, and after awhile the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.
When the preacher finally had prayed all he could pray, he removed his hands, dried the sweat on his brow, and said,
“Leroy, tell the congregation, how is your hearing?”
Leroy answered, “I don’t know. It ain’t ’til next week.”
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Mr.B
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Re: Just for Fun
rstrong's dilemma: 
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Mr.B
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bannination
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Re: Just for Fun
/In B4 I'm a racist!!?!!!?
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O Really
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Re: Just for Fun
Made my day, Mr.B - Thanks!Mr.B wrote:Look at the Google Map!
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Mr.B
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Re: Just for Fun
You're welcome.....but I have to ask....would it have been as funny if it had been labeled the home of the Democratic Headquarters?O Really wrote:"Made my day, Mr.B - Thanks!"Mr.B wrote:Look at the Google Map!
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Mr.B
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Re: Just for Fun
My sentiments exactly! I looked to see what the city hall was labeled; I guess Google missed that one, although I'm not certain where the aquarium really is!Vrede wrote: "Yes, to me, and more accurate in Henderson County. In fact, almost any label other than the funeral home would have been about as funny."
(Team ECCO :?: )
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rstrong
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Re: Just for Fun
DISCOVERY: that the addition of “Harry” to almost any Plato quote makes it seem legitimately like a nugget of wisdom out of the mouth of Albus Dumbledore. (Source)
"Death is not the worst that can happen to men, Harry."
"Harry, good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others."
"He who commits injustice is ever made more wretched than he who suffers it, Harry."
"Harry, how can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?"
"Death is not the worst that can happen to men, Harry."
"Harry, good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others."
"He who commits injustice is ever made more wretched than he who suffers it, Harry."
"Harry, how can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?"
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rstrong
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GoCubsGo
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Re: Just for Fun
rstrong wrote:50 Ducks Walk Into A Drugstore.....
Maybe they got lost on their way to the Peabody Hotel
Eamus Catuli~AC 000000 000101 010202 020303 010304 020405....Ahhhh, forget it, it's gonna be a while.
Foxtrot
Delta
Tango
Foxtrot
Delta
Tango
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Mr.B
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Re: Just for Fun
Ad Found in Craigslist Listings:
FIFTY-TWO YEAR OLD MANURE SPREADER
$1.00
(WASHINGTON, DC)
Fifty-two year old manure spreader. Not sure of brand. Said to have been produced in Kenya. Used for a few years in Indonesia before being smuggled into the US via Hawaii. Of questionable pedigree. Does not appear to have ever been worked hard. Apparently, it was pampered by various owners over the years. It doesn't work very often, but when it does it can sling manure amazing distances. I really don't want it hanging around getting in the way. I would prefer a foreign buyer to relocate the manure spreader out of the country. I would also be willing to trade it for a nicely framed copy of the United States Constitution. Location: Currently being stored in a big white house in Washington , D.C.
FIFTY-TWO YEAR OLD MANURE SPREADER
$1.00
(WASHINGTON, DC)
Fifty-two year old manure spreader. Not sure of brand. Said to have been produced in Kenya. Used for a few years in Indonesia before being smuggled into the US via Hawaii. Of questionable pedigree. Does not appear to have ever been worked hard. Apparently, it was pampered by various owners over the years. It doesn't work very often, but when it does it can sling manure amazing distances. I really don't want it hanging around getting in the way. I would prefer a foreign buyer to relocate the manure spreader out of the country. I would also be willing to trade it for a nicely framed copy of the United States Constitution. Location: Currently being stored in a big white house in Washington , D.C.
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Wneglia
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Re: Just for Fun
Maybe they were looking for a water slide.GoCubsGo wrote:rstrong wrote:50 Ducks Walk Into A Drugstore.....
Maybe they got lost on their way to the Peabody Hotel
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Wneglia
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Wneglia
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