The lawnmower thread

[billy.pilgrim]

http://api.viglink.com/api/click?format ... lawnmowers




Although this could go in the homie thread, it just seemed way too special

[O Really]

Ridiculous analogy for several reasons. However, as long as the lawnmower can give informed consent, I have no problem with it.

[bannination]

I wonder if that opens the door for two lawnmowers to marry?

What if they're different brands?

Oh my....

[JTA]

I bet even if I married a lawnmower I'd still be the one always cutting the grass.

[Seth Milner]

"Put it in the facepalm category."

[billy.pilgrim]

are there prizes for being the dumbest republicon. if no prize, what are they competing for

[Seth Milner]

are there prizes for being the dumbest republicon.
The presidency?

if no prize, what are they competing for
The presidency?

[Vrede too]

Deere Dear.

I wonder if that opens the door for two lawnmowers to marry?

What if they're different brands? ...

Pervert.

I bet even if I married a lawnmower I'd still be the one always cutting the grass.

[Seth Milner]

Deere Dear.

I wonder if that opens the door for two lawnmowers to marry?

What if they're different brands? ...

Pervert.

Heaven forbid that one should come from Lowes and the other from Sears! Would that be considered an interracial marriage?
Another question. . .where or how would you check their dingies to determine their sex; or in accordance with today's standards,
would it matter?

[O Really]

Dingies wouldn't matter in regard to getting married, but they'd probably want to make sure they had compatible dingies. Like, would a rider and a pusher be good together? Self-propelled or manual? Would an electric be willing to put up with the smell of gas? Conservatives just create the most interesting questions, don't they?

[Seth Milner]

Dingies wouldn't matter in regard to getting married, but they'd probably want to make sure they had compatible dingies.
They would have to have something to put in the blank on the license. . . wouldn't they?

Like, would a rider and a pusher be good together? Self-propelled or manual? Would an electric be willing to put up with the smell of gas? Conservatives just create the most interesting questions, don't they?
Who are you calling conservative? I'm willing to bet that those examples you gave already exist, hetero and homo!

[billy.pilgrim]

If my lawn mower marries my son's lawnmower

Is it incest

[JTA]

If my lawn mower marries my son's lawnmower

Is it incest

If I marry my lawnmower, do I have to turn it on before we consummate the marriage?

[billy.pilgrim]

I appreciate all of the help, but with so many unanswered questions, the only recourse is to take them to the horse's ass. Therefore, I have prepared an email to send rep king, but figured I would check with y'all to see if there are other unanswered questions.

You have 24 hours to submit your questions - below is the email to date



Dear Representative King,

I read with some falling on the floor degree of mirth your assertion (While introducing presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee at a campaign rally, Republican Rep. Steve King claimed that the recent Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage will lead to people marrying lawnmowers) that people may now marry lawnmowers. From you, a well know liar, I tried to take this as just more of your insane bs, but it troubled me enough that you may be onto something that I posted your insanity on a local forum for some thoughtful perspective.

We came up with the following question that we hope you can shed some light on our concerns.

1) Would the lawnmower be required to give informed consent?
2) If I marry my lawnmower, do I have to turn it on before we consummate the marriage?
3) Would the lawnmower retain a survivor’s right to social security and other retirement benefits?
4) Could the lawnmower sign legal documents?
5) Could the lawnmower sue for divorce
6) Where or how would you check their dingies to determine their sex; or in accordance with today's standards?
a. would it matter?
7) Does this open the door for two lawnmowers to marry?
a. What if they are different brands?
b. Is it incest if my lawnmower marries my son’s lawnmower?
8) Are there prizes for being the dumbest republican?


Sincerely,

[Sometime Lefty]

Forget the "thingie" problem suppose a front wheel drive mower married a rear wheel drive mower and gave birth to a mower that had a right front wheel drive and a right rear wheel drive. That mower would cut in circles and would not advance the mower race at all, this must be stopped at all costs! Next thing you know, people would be talking in circles.

[JTA]

I appreciate all of the help, but with so many unanswered questions, the only recourse is to take them to the horse's ass. Therefore, I have prepared an email to send rep king, but figured I would check with y'all to see if there are other unanswered questions.

You have 24 hours to submit your questions - below is the email to date



Dear Representative King,

I read with some falling on the floor degree of mirth your assertion (While introducing presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee at a campaign rally, Republican Rep. Steve King claimed that the recent Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage will lead to people marrying lawnmowers) that people may now marry lawnmowers. From you, a well know liar, I tried to take this as just more of your insane bs, but it troubled me enough that you may be onto something that I posted your insanity on a local forum for some thoughtful perspective.

We came up with the following question that we hope you can shed some light on our concerns.

1) Would the lawnmower be required to give informed consent?
2) If I marry my lawnmower, do I have to turn it on before we consummate the marriage?
3) Would the lawnmower retain a survivor’s right to social security and other retirement benefits?
4) Could the lawnmower sign legal documents?
5) Could the lawnmower sue for divorce
6) Where or how would you check their dingies to determine their sex; or in accordance with today's standards?
a. would it matter?
7) Does this open the door for two lawnmowers to marry?
a. What if they are different brands?
b. Is it incest if my lawnmower marries my son’s lawnmower?
8) Are there prizes for being the dumbest republican?


Sincerely,

Into which lawnmower orifice must I insert my member for it to not constitute sodomy, since we know that's a sin?

[bannination]

Into which lawnmower orifice must I insert my member for it to not constitute sodomy, since we know that's a sin?

Don't worry, the lawnmower will let you know.

[O Really]

Would it cause serious issues in the relationship if the lawnmower continued to live in the garage after the wedding? And wouldn't we have to worry about potential affairs with the weedeater?

[Seth Milner]

Into which lawnmower orifice must I insert my member for it to not constitute sodomy, since we know that's a sin?

Since you are not a lawnmower, why in the world would you stick your member in it? There's only one place you could accomplish such a feat and that would be the muffler, unless of course, you're sporting an Oscar Meyer wiener. I don't think you would even want to consider the consequences!

When you're hot, you're hot!

[Seth Milner]

Would it cause serious issues in the relationship if the lawnmower continued to live in the garage after the wedding? And wouldn't we have to worry about potential affairs with the weedeater?

Do you really want to go there?