A Florida Man...

[O Really]

So many stories of somebody doing something stupid start with "A Florida man..." I thought it deserved its own thread. Here's one to start:
(now dead) Florida man gets shot to see if his bullet proof vest worked. It didn't. For starters, it was a flak jacket, not bullet proof.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/pos ... d7d0fce82f

[O Really]

Damn, somebody's beat me to it. Here's more, with awards...
http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/ne ... -man-2015/

[Vrede too]

From your list:

Florida Cop Too Drunk to Collect Prize From Mothers Against Drunk Driving
Really puts the "drunk" in "drunk driving awareness"

... Hopefully a swift and serious punishment will teach him a lesson.

What's that? This all happened in July and instead of being fired he was given one day paid suspension and promoted to detective?

Fucking Florida.

On a positive note, he will be the keynote speaker at the upcoming conference sponsored by D.A.M.M. - Drunks Against Mad Mothers.

Police: Man trying to time travel plows car into Florida businesses

... A Dodge Challenger plowed through Advanced Tax Services, taking out a wall connecting to Pensacola Caskets. Both offices have been closed since the crash....

Tis possible to be more sure of one thing than Death and Taxes - Florida Men.

[neoplacebo]

Last Saturday, the 10th of Sept, there was the Big Game between University of Tennessee and Virginia Tech at the Bristol Motor Speedway. Luckily, I was able to avoid this melee and watch the whole thing on tv. The game was over by the early evening....TN won. Later on the local 11 o clock news I saw a story from Bristol about "....a Corvette traveling at a high rate of speed went out of control and damaged several parked cars on a local street. One occupant of the Corvette was ejected from the vehicle." It didn't say if these folks had attended the big game, nor if either of the occupants of the Corvette was A Florida Man but I have my suspicions.

I also get a kick from the crime stories that come out of Wise, VA which is a small rural community in SW Virginia. Lots of these make it into the local newspaper or tv news shows with headers like "Wise man cuts off penis by accident" or "Wise man electrocuted while carrying metal ladder." There's just no telling what sort of shit a Wise man may end up doing.

[rstrong]

From the August 2002 Alta, Utah, town newsletter (as featured in the Salt Lake Tribune): "July 14: At 12 p.m., the deputy on duty responded to a report of a man chasing a moose in Albion Basin. It is suspected that this is related to a subsequent report of a moose chasing a man."
- Salt Lake Tribune, 9-6-02

[neoplacebo]

Heh, that moose probably ran all the way from Alaska to Utah trying to get away from the monumentally ignorant Sarah Palin, who is, in reality, probably from Florida and has been lying about it.

[O Really]

Not so funny, but predictable. Florida man shoots father, calls the stand your ground support group and tells 911 he wuz skeered fer his life...

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/article104069661.html

[O Really]

https://www.yahoo.com/style/florida-man ... 04942.html

Florida man accidentally marries granddaughter.

[Vrede too]

Bad link. Same story:

Florida millionaire marries granddaughter accidentally, doesn't plan to divorce

But, take it with a grain of salt. Articles about it have apparently been removed from at least Yahoo! and Cosmo.

Aside: I didn't know that Aol. still existed.

Edit: Shoulda followed the link in my own link.

A classic tale of news aggregation gone wrong

If you wanted to trick a bunch of media outlets into picking up a fake viral story, how would you go about it?

First, you'd probably choose the state of Florida, which can probably start counting weird news stories among its major exports. Second, you'd throw up a website with a generic newspaper name. Third, come up with some sort of news story that is tailor-made to bring in the clicks.

And here we are, with the "Florida Sun Post," and a story about a Miami millionaire who accidentally married his daughter.

All indications point to the story and the website being fake. That hasn't stopped numerous media outlets from picking up the story, including The Independent, Elite Daily, Complex and UK tabloid The Sun. Those reports then spread further, with the New York Post, picking up the Sun's report.

The questionable nature of the story and website was first noticed by whoever runs the Twitter parody account @_FloridaMan, which is dedicated to weird Florida news....

Scratching the surface of the "Florida Sun Post" website reveals that the page was begun just a few days ago, as noted by the Twitter account.

The site itself also seems off in a variety of ways. Every story expect for the one that has gone viral is behind a paywall, and there seems to be almost no coherence to the stories on the various pages. Much of it has an international bent, including the "Sport" page, which includes cricket coverage.

Strangely enough, I could not find the viral marriage story anywhere on its site. The story appears to only be accessible if you have the direct link. The story also appears to be the only article outsides of a paywall. We did not want to pay the $4.99 to see what lay behind it.

The story itself is also very strangely written. There is no byline, although the post claims that the unnamed man talked to "reporters" and the woman talked to "journalists." ...

[O Really]

Even so, still makes a good "Florida man" post though, doesn't it?

[Vrede too]

Given that you're a "Florida man", too . . .

[O Really]

OK, here's another. Florida man bites nose off victim...
https://www.yahoo.com/news/m/8bd57130-8 ... ed-in.html

[O Really]

Given that you're a "Florida man", too . . .

Well strictly speaking, a "Florilinian" but the "compliment" is accepted.

[Seth Milner]

I am now officially a Florida man. Sold my Lake Keowee home, closed on a waterside home in Everglades City, FL. Me and Spook are gone.
Wish the wife could have made the trip; but she's got something far better than what I could ever get here. Bye.

[Vrede too]

Ewww.

... Plus, in most places if a patient is in custody the government pays the bill....

... The sheriff’s office served an arrest warrant Sunday after officials learned the teen was set to be released from the hospital, the station reports.

He had been hospitalized under guard and sedated since the Aug. 15 attack on 59-year-old John Stevens and his 53-year-old wife, Michelle Mishcon....

6 weeks, "under guard" but no arrest. Insurance or his family will pay, or the hospital will eat the bill. No grand point here, just funny that we got an example of what I said.

"sedated since the Aug. 15" - Whoa, I'm guessing that he really is crazy.

[rstrong]

I am now officially a Florida man. Sold my Lake Keowee home, closed on a waterside home in Everglades City

Nice. The city was erased (50% of buildings destroyed plus more heavily damaged) by Hurricane Donna in 1960, but a waterside home is a waterside home no matter which side its on.

Florida is one of those states that's forbid officials and scientists to talk about global warming, climate change and sea-level rise. Including the Department of Environmental Protection, the very people who are supposed to deal with it.

But I hear that prayer helps.

[rstrong]

"sedated since the Aug. 15" - Whoa, I'm guessing that he really is crazy.

Or a Ramones fan.

[Vrede too]

There's a difference?

[O Really]

I am now officially a Florida man. Sold my Lake Keowee home, closed on a waterside home in Everglades City, FL. Me and Spook are gone.
Wish the wife could have made the trip; but she's got something far better than what I could ever get here. Bye.

Everglades City? Nice area. A little remote for me as a residence, but we go there a lot when we're in Naples. I'm pretty sure they have internet there, so you don't have to be "gone."

[Vrede too]

Man, 59, Arrested for Wearing Clear Plastic Wrap Swim Shorts to the Beach: Cops