The Religion Thread

[neoplacebo]

Here's a good one; I feel it belongs in this religion thread. Lots of people are figuring on storming the secret Area 51 site to find out just what's going on there.
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/hundred ... 11786.html

I feel this is a momentous occasion and that Bob Dylan should rewrite the old Highway 61 song in honor of it, like this:
God said to Abraham "kill me a son."
Abe said "man, you must be puttin' me on."
God said "no."
Abe said "what?"
God said "you can do what you want Abe, but the next time you see me comin' you better run."
Well, Abe said "where you want this killin' done?"
God said "out at Area 51."

3M have signed up now . Those AF warnings are working great.

'Storm Area 51' organizer to throw 'Alien Stock' festival in Nevada desert

I read yesterday this gig has been called off for reasons of logistics in that the small town near the site cannot handle the influx of expected attendees. Of course this could be some alien trickery just to try and fool us.

[Vrede too]

I read yesterday this gig has been called off for reasons of logistics in that the small town near the site cannot handle the influx of expected attendees. Of course this could be some alien trickery just to try and fool us.

Crap, I'm already packed, including stocking up on cheap beer. Oh well, we Area 51 wingnuts aren't supposed to be too sharp, let's head for what's sure to be a raging party in Rachel, anyhow.

There's a lesson in this - authoring one viral Facebook post does not make you special in any way. Best to just walk away and let the internet do what it does.

[O Really]

https://apnews.com/06c11b92f92d427a8a38b5f1ab583080

Pastafarian pastor leads prayer at Alaska government meeting

[O Really]

Forewarned is forearmed...

"You’re more likely to get a computer virus from visiting religious sites than porn sites.

According to research from security firm Symantec, religious websites carry three times more malware threats than pornography sites. Symantec found that the average number of security threats on religious sites was around 115, compared to adult content sites which carried around 25. In fact, only 2.4 percent of adult sites were infected with malware. The researchers hypothesized that’s because porn sites need to generate a profit, so there’s a financial interest in keeping them virus-free to encourage repeat business."

[Vrede too]

Forewarned is forearmed...

"You’re more likely to get a computer virus from visiting religious sites than porn sites.

According to research from security firm Symantec, religious websites carry three times more malware threats than pornography sites. Symantec found that the average number of security threats on religious sites was around 115, compared to adult content sites which carried around 25. In fact, only 2.4 percent of adult sites were infected with malware. The researchers hypothesized that’s because porn sites need to generate a profit, so there’s a financial interest in keeping them virus-free to encourage repeat business."

In my career I saw tons of believers and a couple of “exotic dancers” with infections, but not one porn star.

Ramen.

[neoplacebo]

I wanted to be first to break the awful news that we have all missed out on getting a pair of Jesus Shoes. They sold out in less than a minute. That would be a "jesus minute" I guess. Not sure how these shoes with holy water hold up in below freezing weather; guess you have to have faith in them or someething.
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/1425-je ... 12981.html

[Vrede too]

I wanted to be first to break the awful news that we have all missed out on getting a pair of Jesus Shoes. They sold out in less than a minute. That would be a "jesus minute" I guess. Not sure how these shoes with holy water hold up in below freezing weather; guess you have to have faith in them or someething.
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/1425-je ... 12981.html

$1,425!!!

“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.”
-- Jesus, Matthew 19:24, Mark 10:25, Luke 18:25

I already have holey sneakers. In below freezing weather I stay comfortable in my FSM sneakers - just pour in a little warm pasta. Ramen.

‘If you can find one’: Elizabeth Warren acclaimed for searing response to homophobic gay marriage question at debate

Elizabeth Warren drew wild applause at a forum on LGBT+ issues for a deadpan response to a question about gay marriage.

The Massachusetts senator was asked about religious opposition to gay rights during the televised Los Angeles event.

A forum participant asked her: “Let’s say you’re on the campaign trail and a supporter approaches you and says ‘Senator, I’m old fashioned and my faith teaches me that marriage is between one man and one woman.

“What is your response?”

“Well, I’m going to assume it’s a guy who said that,” the politician said.

“And I’m going to say…then just marry one woman. I’m cool with that!”

After a brief pause for raucous applause, she added: “Assuming you can find one.” ...

[billy.pilgrim]

I wanted to be first to break the awful news that we have all missed out on getting a pair of Jesus Shoes. They sold out in less than a minute. That would be a "jesus minute" I guess. Not sure how these shoes with holy water hold up in below freezing weather; guess you have to have faith in them or someething.
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/1425-je ... 12981.html

$1,425!!!

“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.”
-- Jesus, Matthew 19:24, Mark 10:25, Luke 18:25

I already have holey sneakers. In below freezing weather I stay comfortable in my FSM sneakers - just pour in a little warm pasta. Ramen.

‘If you can find one’: Elizabeth Warren acclaimed for searing response to homophobic gay marriage question at debate

Elizabeth Warren drew wild applause at a forum on LGBT+ issues for a deadpan response to a question about gay marriage.

The Massachusetts senator was asked about religious opposition to gay rights during the televised Los Angeles event.

A forum participant asked her: “Let’s say you’re on the campaign trail and a supporter approaches you and says ‘Senator, I’m old fashioned and my faith teaches me that marriage is between one man and one woman.

“What is your response?”

“Well, I’m going to assume it’s a guy who said that,” the politician said.

“And I’m going to say…then just marry one woman. I’m cool with that!”

After a brief pause for raucous applause, she added: “Assuming you can find one.” ...

You beat me

$1,425 for shoes with water, next up, kosher shoes.

Did a young Robin Hood scam some rich christians or did one of their own run the scam?

Maybe kosher shoes ain’t such a bad idea. How long could the forum run from the sale of one pair? I know we can’t do a bobblehead Mohammed shoe. anyone have any Muslim ideas – maybe throwing shoes with a lil bush likeness on the soles. To allow for wear the image would be the full depth of the sole.

Mission Statement
Exploring new frontiers in monetizing religious fanaticism

[billy.pilgrim]

I wanted to be first to break the awful news that we have all missed out on getting a pair of Jesus Shoes. They sold out in less than a minute. That would be a "jesus minute" I guess. Not sure how these shoes with holy water hold up in below freezing weather; guess you have to have faith in them or someething.
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/1425-je ... 12981.html

Now that I think about it, I was standing in a puddle in my holy shoes at a roadside pay phone checking the messages on my beeper when I decided to get a high dollar car phone.

[Vrede too]

You beat me

$1,425 for shoes with water, next up, kosher shoes.

Did a young Robin Hood scam some rich christians or did one of their own run the scam?

It's Nike. I see a great crossover opportunity for their spokesperson - Kneeling Colin Kaepernick wearing Jesus shoes.

Maybe kosher shoes ain’t such a bad idea. How long could the forum run from the sale of one pair? I know we can’t do a bobblehead Mohammed shoe. anyone have any Muslim ideas –

Bacon-infused shoes marketed through our Conservative Forum.

maybe throwing shoes with a lil bush likeness on the soles. To allow for wear the image would be the full depth of the sole.

"Dammit, I got dog shit in my Shrubbery."
Maybe that's better for throwing, though.

Mission Statement
Exploring new frontiers in monetizing religious fanaticism

Holy water dildos. Microwave for 15 seconds for that long lasting natural-feeling warmth.

[neoplacebo]

Here's a story to show that Jesus is always on call.
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/man ... 44956.html

[Vrede too]

Dammit, they found out.

Trump Spiritual Adviser Paula White Prays Against President's Opponents, Suggests They 'Operate in Sorcery and Witchcraft'

[neoplacebo]

Dammit, they found out.

Trump Spiritual Adviser Paula White Prays Against President's Opponents, Suggests They 'Operate in Sorcery and Witchcraft'

I can only speak for myself, but I'll take sorcery and witchcraft over dumbfuckery and wingnuttery any day. And I am thankful each and every day that I do not belong to some sort of pseudo Christian sect led by someone named Dutch Sheets.

[Vrede too]

I can only speak for myself, but I'll take sorcery and witchcraft over dumbfuckery and wingnuttery any day. And I am thankful each and every day that I do not belong to some sort of pseudo Christian sect led by someone named Dutch Sheets.

"Whether it's the spirit of Leviathan, a spirit of Jezebel, Abaddon, whether it's the spirit of Belial, we come against the strongmen, especially Jezebel, that which would operate in sorcery and witchcraft, that which would operate in hidden things, veiled things, that which would operate in deception," she continued.

Seems she's gender confused, nttawwt. Must be the veils.

"We come against it according to your word."

White went on: "Stretch out your arm and deliver President Trump and rid him of any bondage the enemy would try to bring against him."

[neoplacebo]

Yeah, I thought Jezebel was a woman. When these holy rollers get on a roll, they get mixed up even more so than they already are. sad

[neoplacebo]

In Rod Stewart's song "Stay With Me" (my favorite song of his) he mentions Jezebel;
"Red lips, hair, and fingernails
I hear you're a mean old Jezebel.
Let's go upstairs and read my tarot cards."

[Vrede too]

Total scam in plain view, still on late night TV:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQVri6Gt4OI

Who wouldn't trust that face?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Popoff

... In the mid-2000s, Popoff began to offer "Miracle Spring Water" on late-night infomercials in the US, Canada, the UK, Australia, and New Zealand.[36] Respondents are promised miraculous protection from disease and disability, along with financial prosperity (which may include "divine money transfers directly into your account"), if they sleep with the water for one night before drinking it, then pray over the empty packet and send it back to Popoff—with a donation. Multiple solicitation letters follow, requesting more donations in exchange for miracles....

Mine should arrive in 6-10 business days :angel4: .

[neoplacebo]

Total scam in plain view, still on late night TV:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQVri6Gt4OI

Who wouldn't trust that face?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Popoff

... In the mid-2000s, Popoff began to offer "Miracle Spring Water" on late-night infomercials in the US, Canada, the UK, Australia, and New Zealand.[36] Respondents are promised miraculous protection from disease and disability, along with financial prosperity (which may include "divine money transfers directly into your account"), if they sleep with the water for one night before drinking it, then pray over the empty packet and send it back to Popoff—with a donation. Multiple solicitation letters follow, requesting more donations in exchange for miracles....

Mine should arrive in 6-10 business days :angel4: .

Well, shucks, I was all set to send off for a whole case of the stuff, but after seeing the ad it became immediately obvious to me that this stuff only works for black women. Just my luck.

[Vrede too]

Well, shucks, I was all set to send off for a whole case of the stuff, but after seeing the ad it became immediately obvious to me that this stuff only works for black women. Just my luck.

You could convert.


Woman asked to leave American Airlines flight over ‘ironic’ T-shirt: ‘People usually laugh at it’



I'm sure that 'Hail Christ' is peachy, though. Christian cons are such desperately PC and easily triggered snowflakes.

Hail Satan.

[neoplacebo]

Well, shucks, I was all set to send off for a whole case of the stuff, but after seeing the ad it became immediately obvious to me that this stuff only works for black women. Just my luck.

You could convert.


Woman asked to leave American Airlines flight over ‘ironic’ T-shirt: ‘People usually laugh at it’



I'm sure that 'Hail Christ' is peachy, though. Christian cons are such desperately PC and easily triggered snowflakes.

Hail Satan.

I thought everybody knew the rule on this; only "Hail Jesus" shirts can be worn on planes in the sky and only "Hail Satan" shirts can be worn on the subway under ground. This was firmly established by the Treaty of Beelzebub in the early 1920's. Shit.