A Florida Man...

[Vrede too]

See there. I told you that “Florida Man” isn’t from Florida

Does 20+ years, an entire adult life, count as "from Florida"?

Florida Republicans oust state party chairman facing rape allegations in critical election year

... Beyond the rape accusation, there is another troublesome element for the party. Under DeSantis, Florida has stripped rights away from LGBTQ+ Floridians and banned instruction on gender identity and sexual orientation in schools.

Ziegler and his wife, Bridget Ziegler, have admitted to police that they previously had a consensual sexual relationship with Christian Ziegler’s accuser. Bridget Ziegler is an elected member of the Sarasota School Board and co-founder of Moms for Liberty, a national conservative activist group that has successfully gotten members elected to school boards across the U.S. She has not been accused of a crime.

Bridget Ziegler also was appointed by DeSantis last year to the board of the governing district for Walt Disney World.

... The Sarasota School Board asked her to resign last month but she refused. DeSantis-appointed board members of the Disney World governing district made no direct mention of Bridget Ziegler’s situation at their meeting last month, even though it was raised by a member of the public who said her hypocrisy should disqualify her from serving.

The couple have been outspoken opponents of LGBTQ+ rights and their relationship with another woman has sparked criticism and accusations of hypocrisy.

[billy.pilgrim]

See there. I told you that “Florida Man” isn’t from Florida

Does 20+ years, an entire adult life, count as "from Florida"?

Florida Republicans oust state party chairman facing rape allegations in critical election year

... Beyond the rape accusation, there is another troublesome element for the party. Under DeSantis, Florida has stripped rights away from LGBTQ+ Floridians and banned instruction on gender identity and sexual orientation in schools.

Ziegler and his wife, Bridget Ziegler, have admitted to police that they previously had a consensual sexual relationship with Christian Ziegler’s accuser. Bridget Ziegler is an elected member of the Sarasota School Board and co-founder of Moms for Liberty, a national conservative activist group that has successfully gotten members elected to school boards across the U.S. She has not been accused of a crime.

Bridget Ziegler also was appointed by DeSantis last year to the board of the governing district for Walt Disney World.

... The Sarasota School Board asked her to resign last month but she refused. DeSantis-appointed board members of the Disney World governing district made no direct mention of Bridget Ziegler’s situation at their meeting last month, even though it was raised by a member of the public who said her hypocrisy should disqualify her from serving.

The couple have been outspoken opponents of LGBTQ+ rights and their relationship with another woman has sparked criticism and accusations of hypocrisy.

Probably so. My comment was about Hannity

[Vrede too]

See there. I told you that “Florida Man” isn’t from Florida

Does 20+ years, an entire adult life, count as "from Florida"?

Probably so. My comment was about Hannity

I once heard: You're not a real Montanan until you've spent 30 winters here, even if you were born in Montana

I was there 30 years, my entire adult life when I left for NC . . . minus 3 years in CA. Opps.

[Vrede too]

See there. I told you that “Florida Man” isn’t from Florida

Yeah, there's sadness, but this also reads like a comedy novel:

Florida duo arrested after planned sexual encounter turns deadly with botched car robbery, deputies say

... The man was later identified as Wayne Barlow, who was 40 years old at the time of his "suspicious" death, deputies said.

The Medical Examiner's Office determined that the cause of death was a gunshot wound to the head, and they also found evidence of strangulation and blunt force trauma. The official manner of death was ruled as a homicide.

Figure that out all on your own, Florida Medical Examiner?

... Text messages between Long and Barlow revealed that the two planned to meet up in the woods to have sex, which he would pay her for, according to the arrest affidavit from the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

Text trails are better than 'paper trails' ever were.

When Barlow sent Long $80 via Cash App, Long gave Montgomery a "signal" that meant "it was time to go ahead with the plan," the affidavit added.

Cheap whore . . . or so I'm told. Money trail, opps.

... Montgomery pulled him out of the car and assaulted him with a "pipe-like object" before trying to run him over, deputies said. When that didn't work, Montgomery approached him and shot him, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

Some people might have thought of the gun first.

"Make sure he's dead," Long said, according to the arrest affidavit.

Sage advice.

"Montgomery advised he took part in the attack on the victim for a couple reasons and those reasons were for free drugs and for sex he didn't have to pay for," the affidavit said.

She looks to be worth every penny.

... During the investigation, deputies went back to the area where Barlow's body was found. There, they found a black and silver Phoenix Arms .22 caliber handgun about 30 feet from where his body was found....

"30 feet"???!!! WTF? Lousy toss.

[billy.pilgrim]

See there. I told you that “Florida Man” isn’t from Florida

Yeah, there's sadness, but this also reads like a comedy novel:

Florida duo arrested after planned sexual encounter turns deadly with botched car robbery, deputies say

... The man was later identified as Wayne Barlow, who was 40 years old at the time of his "suspicious" death, deputies said.

The Medical Examiner's Office determined that the cause of death was a gunshot wound to the head, and they also found evidence of strangulation and blunt force trauma. The official manner of death was ruled as a homicide.

Figure that out all on your own, Florida Medical Examiner?

... Text messages between Long and Barlow revealed that the two planned to meet up in the woods to have sex, which he would pay her for, according to the arrest affidavit from the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

Text trails are better than 'paper trails' ever were.

When Barlow sent Long $80 via Cash App, Long gave Montgomery a "signal" that meant "it was time to go ahead with the plan," the affidavit added.

Cheap whore . . . or so I'm told. Money trail, opps.

... Montgomery pulled him out of the car and assaulted him with a "pipe-like object" before trying to run him over, deputies said. When that didn't work, Montgomery approached him and shot him, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

Some people might have thought of the gun first.

"Make sure he's dead," Long said, according to the arrest affidavit.

Sage advice.

"Montgomery advised he took part in the attack on the victim for a couple reasons and those reasons were for free drugs and for sex he didn't have to pay for," the affidavit said.

She looks to be worth every penny.

... During the investigation, deputies went back to the area where Barlow's body was found. There, they found a black and silver Phoenix Arms .22 caliber handgun about 30 feet from where his body was found....

"30 feet"???!!! WTF? Lousy toss.

Now that’s a real Florida Mans and Woman story

[O Really]

"Wayne" would ordinarily be the killer, not the killee, but this guy doesn't look quite right.

[Vrede too]

"Wayne" would ordinarily be the killer, not the killee, but this guy doesn't look quite right.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/gunmemorial-me ... 418988.jpg

You mean the zombie who meets $80 whores in the woods? Say it ain't so.

We should be careful, don't want to miff billy.pilgrim and Whack9.

... Their (heavy metal) band name is derived from the fictional substance ice-nine from the 1963 novel Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut.

[billy.pilgrim]

Got their own vanity plates


The Villages: May All Your Dreams Come True. A slightly dystopian nod to Central Florida's massive retirement community, the money will go toward The Villages Charter School.

[Vrede too]

Got their own vanity plates

The Villages: May All Your Dreams Come True. A slightly dystopian nod to Central Florida's massive retirement community, the money will go toward The Villages Charter School.

I''m dreaming of a parade mocking RW retirees Think they would allow that onsite?


Indian River County:
Newly sworn-in Florida deputy arrested for child pornography on first day

Opps.

[O Really]

Hey, Florida Man - Hold my beer.

"Georgia Men Plotted to Have ‘Large Python’ Eat Woman’s Daughter, Feds Say"

https://www.yahoo.com/news/georgia-men- ... 05599.html

Two men have been indicted on federal charges for blowing up a woman’s home in Richmond Hill, Georgia, and allegedly hatching a strange plot to unleash a python on the home to eat the woman’s daughter.

Stephen Glosser and Caleb Kinsey are charged with creating “a plan to kill, intimidate, harass, or injure” their victim, who was identified by Bryan County Sheriff Mark Crowe as a woman who had a previous relationship with one of the two men.

Their plot against her allegedly involved shooting arrows at her door, sending dog poop and dead rats, scalping her and blowing up the home, according to a press release from the United States Attorney’s Office in the Southern District of Georgia. They also allegedly plotted to release “a large python into the victim’s home to eat the victim’s daughter.”

[Vrede too]

Got their own vanity plates

The Villages: May All Your Dreams Come True. A slightly dystopian nod to Central Florida's massive retirement community, the money will go toward The Villages Charter School.

I'm dreaming of a very very big sinkhole at The Villages

Boomers fed up with Florida are moving to southern Appalachia, fueling a population spike in longtime rural communities

I plan on blaming Florida Men for everything that goes wrong here in the future.

[billy.pilgrim]

Got their own vanity plates

The Villages: May All Your Dreams Come True. A slightly dystopian nod to Central Florida's massive retirement community, the money will go toward The Villages Charter School.

I'm dreaming of a very very big sinkhole at The Villages

Boomers fed up with Florida are moving to southern Appalachia, fueling a population spike in longtime rural communities

I plan on blaming Florida Men for everything that goes wrong here in the future.

It’s the disenchanted new yorkers who are moving away - as stated in the first sentence of the article

[Vrede too]

Boomers fed up with Florida are moving to southern Appalachia, fueling a population spike in longtime rural communities

I plan on blaming Florida Men for everything that goes wrong here in the future.

It’s the disenchanted new yorkers who are moving away - as stated in the first sentence of the article

Florida license plates = Florida Men.

[Vrede too]

Hey, Florida Man - Hold my beer.

"Georgia Men Plotted to Have ‘Large Python’ Eat Woman’s Daughter, Feds Say"

https://www.yahoo.com/news/georgia-men- ... 05599.html

Florida Man: Not bad, Georgia Men. My turn.

Florida Man, high school valedictorian and University of Florida premed student, stabs own mom, a mother of three and second grade teacher, 70 times and kills her "because she got on my nerves".
https://www.yahoo.com/news/son-knocks-m ... 43089.html

... (Polk County Sheriff Grady) Judd added that “it was one of the most bizarre murders that we’ve dealt with in a very long time.”...

That's really saying something in Florida.

[Vrede too]

WATCH: Woman accused of dining and dashing forgets purse at Florida restaurant

... An employee is heard notifying a party of 14 that their table is ready, but the woman, who captured the video, asks for just a moment, presumably to witness the altercation going down at the hostess stand.

“Dined and dashed. But the idiots forgot her purse,” the text on the video reads. “SO the manager was holding the purse.”

Opps.

The accused thief is heard yelling at the restaurant manager, demanding her bag back, as a man with her attempts to call her down.

He is heard telling the woman to “chill out,” as she screams that the employee ” has her s***.”

The TikTok video has racked up more than seven million views, with nearly 700,000 likes.

Dozens of users commented, “Well, well, well,” underneath the post, while another user jokingly wrote, “Dinner and a show.”

The witness said after “fighting and screaming” with the manager, it is believed that the woman ended up paying her tab.

Did she include a tip?

[GoCubsGo]

Once the election is over we can get back to normal lunacy.

Florida man randomly assaults sleeping United passenger in bloody mid-flight beating, feds say

[Vrede too]

Once the election is over we can get back to normal lunacy.

Florida man randomly assaults sleeping United passenger in bloody mid-flight beating, feds say

Yuck . . . Will this election ever be over?

Teenager wearing Trump shirt charged with punching Harris supporter, 70

A 17-year-old boy — wearing a T-shirt featuring an image of Trump raising his middle finger in front of an American flag background — punched the Harris supporter, knocking her off her feet, according to police and the woman, Stuart resident Kathleen Tomasko.

Least able to fight back. Brave.

The 17-year-old was arrested once police, hired by the event organizers, arrived on the scene at the north end of the Roosevelt Bridge on U.S. 1. He was charged with battery on a person 65 years of age or over, according to Stuart Police Department spokesperson Brian Bossio.

Enhanced charge. Smart.

"Several people pointed out a male who was walking away from the area as someone who battered or struck a woman. I was able to go get the guy, walk him over to the car and detain him," Bossio said.

Did not leave rapidly. Smart.

... Tomasko said she did nothing to provoke the 17-year-old and she did not hear him say anything to her. In fact, she didn't even see him coming, she said.

"I'm standing there and people are moving and this kid just turned around and he punched me. I don't know where he came from," Tomasko said. "He punched me in the gut and knocked me on the ground, and I fell back and hit the ground. Thank goodness the two ladies were behind me so I didn't hit my head."...

Sucker punch. Brave.

Florida Teen MAGAt, you don't disappoint. Charge him as an adult and release his name. Even assholes aren't impressed by beating up little old ladies.

[Vrede too]

Once the election is over we can get back to normal lunacy.

Florida man randomly assaults sleeping United passenger in bloody mid-flight beating, feds say

Another example. SC says, "Hold my beer."

Mayor Dies in Police Chase Days After Entire Force Resigns

[GoCubsGo]

Once the election is over we can get back to normal lunacy.

Florida man randomly assaults sleeping United passenger in bloody mid-flight beating, feds say

Another example. SC says, "Hold my beer."

Mayor Dies in Police Chase Days After Entire Force Resigns

Somehow, I believe it.

[Vrede too]

Headline writers live for stories like this:

Florida Man Carjacks His Grandmother, Writes Apology
Florida sure is a weird place.



Florida Man is back at it again, this time carjacking his own grandmother, then writing an apology letter by hand. It’s such a bizarre case that if it didn’t come out of Florida, about the only other possible place would’ve been California.

, O Really.

According to Fox 35 Orlando, Alan Aspinwall allegedly told his grandmother he needed to get something out of the trunk of her car. She unlocked it for him, then stepped outside a short while later to make sure he got inside okay.

That’s when he reportedly pushed her to the ground, pulling the keys out of her hand and in the process cutting one of her hands. Then he allegedly jumped in the car and took off, making it an unarmed carjacking.

Later, police tracked down the stolen car and arrested Aspinwall. After getting busted, the guy wrote a four-page letter by hand to his granny, apologizing for what he’d done. The real question is was he remorseful about hurting his grandmother or was he remorseful about getting in trouble for it?

Florida has enhancements for assaulting and stealing from elderly people, which honestly makes sense since elder abuse is a real problem. While Aspinwall is facing those steeper consequences, he reportedly was already wanted for exposing himself....

Florida Man never disappoints.

Finally, can we ask if he can get extra charges for wearing one of the worst hairstyles we’ve ever seen? Does the guy not have access to mirrors?